Heval Kelli, MD, grew up amid fearfulness and persecution arsenic a subordinate of the Kurdish number successful Syria. After escaping with his household to Germany astatine property 11, helium spent six years surviving successful overcrowded conditions earlier yet being granted exile presumption by the United States. Over the ensuing decade, with grit and the enactment of a mentor, Kelli roseate to go a salient cardiologist. Raised a devout Muslim, helium inactive prays 5 times a day.
Chris Buckley grew up with an abusive begetter successful mediocre neighborhoods successful Georgia and Ohio. Motivated by the attacks connected 9/11, helium joined the Army and served 3 tours of work successful Afghanistan. When helium got home, fueled by fear, hate, drugs, and a peculiar antipathy toward Muslims, helium joined the Ku Klux Klan. He burned crosses, shouted “White power!” and took his young lad to racist rallies.
Today, Kelli and Buckley are the champion of friends.
“He is the closest happening I person to a brother,” says Buckley, 39. “We whitethorn disagree, we whitethorn fight, but we volition ever emotion each other.”
At a clip erstwhile Americans are often divided isolated by governmental partisanship, radical tensions, taste loyalties — and adjacent diverging notions of basal facts — Kelli and Buckley’s communicative offers a sliver of hope.
That story, told successful the documentary Refuge, which is scheduled for merchandise via on-demand services and successful prime autarkic theaters successful March, covers unusual and sometimes torturous ground. It besides raises a important question: How did they propulsion it off?
From dishwasher to doctor
Heval Kelli was not yet a teen erstwhile Syrian constabulary stormed into his home, bushed him and his mother, and dragged his father, a Kurdish attorney, disconnected to jail. When Kelli’s begetter was released months later, the household paid smugglers to assistance them flight their location state and yet made their mode to Germany successful 1996.
There, Kelli, his brother, and his parents lived for 8 months successful a exile camp, and past moved to a tiny town, Herscheid, wherever they shared 1 chamber and disquieted endlessly astir imaginable deportation. After years spent filing papers and completing interviews arsenic portion of the U.S. asylum-seeking process, Kelli inactive recalls 3 fantastic words: “Welcome to America.”
The household settled successful Clarkston, Georgia, an Atlanta suburb afloat of truthful galore divers immigrants that it’s been called the Ellis Island of the South. Members of a section religion soon showed up to supply basics similar furnishings and covering and, astir important, Kelli says, friendship. "As a Muslim, I ne'er expected to person each that from a church. The invited and enactment were amazing.”
A precocious schoolhouse senior, Kelli rapidly threw himself into learning English and tackling schoolwork. But Kelli’s begetter was excessively sick to enactment and his parent couldn’t find a job. So Kelli began washing dishes aft school, often moving 40-hour weeks connected apical of his schooling.
Meanwhile, Kelli hoped to go a doc but hardly dared to judge it possible. “I didn’t cognize immoderate doctors. The lone clip aesculapian professionals came to Clarkson was erstwhile determination was an emergency,” helium says.
In a changeable of bully fortune, a prof astatine Emory School of Medicine successful Atlanta learned of Kelli’s involvement and reached retired to him. With the mentor’s help, Kelli was accepted to and attended Morehouse School of Medicine, besides successful Atlanta, and past studied some interior medicine and cardiology astatine Emory. In 2020, helium finished his grooming conscionable a fewer miles from wherever helium erstwhile washed dishes.
Gratitude for his opportunities flows from Kelli. “In this country, you tin travel successful with thing and marque it to the top. That doesn’t hap successful galore places successful the world,” helium says.
“I began to announcement that radical trusted maine to bash aesculapian tests and procedures connected them and their families, but extracurricular the exam room, they didn’t look to privation maine here.”
Heval Kelli, MD
Determined to springiness back, Kelli created respective mentorship, educational, and assemblage wellness projects. One, the Young Physicians Initiative, has provided subject acquisition and mentoring enactment to much than 6,000 mediate school, precocious school, and assemblage students. Soon aft the 2016 statesmanlike election, though, Kelli felt a beardown propulsion successful different direction: to correspond Muslims, refugees, Black and Brown people, and others subjected to mistreatment oregon misunderstanding.
“I began to announcement that radical trusted maine to bash aesculapian tests and procedures connected them and their families, but extracurricular the exam room, they didn’t look to privation maine here,” says Kelli. “I knew I needed to bash more.”
Kelli looked for chances to talk astatine churches, schools, and section groups similar the Rotary Club. He hosted an iftar — the accepted repast for ending Ramadan fasts — wherever hundreds broke breadstuff together. Even insignificant oregon informal interactions could pb to healing, helium believed.
“It’s hard to hatred idiosyncratic you know,” helium says.
Throughout, Kelli recovered that his aesculapian grooming bolstered his outreach efforts. For one, helium had learned however to perceive well. He besides knew not to instrumentality someone’s absorption excessively personally. “Sometimes, a diligent is aggravated due to the fact that they’ve had to hold oregon due to the fact that they’re successful pain. I conscionable say, ‘I recognize however you feel,’” says Kelli. “Acknowledging people’s symptom builds trust.”
But each of Kelli’s lessons would soon beryllium tested. Anti-extremism person Arno Michaelis, whom Kelli met astatine a league connected Islamophobia, challenged him to spell further. “Are you truly superior astir doing this work?” helium asked. If so, Kelli needed to conscionable Chris Buckley.
From Afghanistan to the Klan
Chris Buckley’s assemblage is covered with tattoos: a sinister skeleton head, symbols of the Ku Klux Klan connected his knuckles, and a monolithic 1 connected his limb that proclaims him an infidel successful Arabic.
Buckley got that past 1 successful Afghanistan. He coiled up stationed determination successful 2001 aft opting to enlist successful the Army alternatively than prosecute college. “I had a consciousness of work to avenge what had happened connected 9/11,” helium says.
Once there, people signifier regularly relied connected Muslim images and endurance meant dehumanizing the enemy.
Then Buckley experienced a fateful trauma: the shooting of a adjacent person during a patrol. “I said, ‘I got you buddy,’ pulled him in, and enactment unit connected the wound,” Buckley recalls. But the young antheral died successful his arms. “At that moment, I started to consciousness aggravated hatred of Muslims,” helium says.
Previous puerility experiences had besides poured venom into Buckley’s veins. His father, an alcoholic, spewed prejudice-filled notions: Immigrants were stealing jobs, Black radical were milking welfare, and homosexuality was immoral. That past thought was painfully cemented successful Buckley’s caput by galore intersexual assaults perpetrated by a antheral relative.
“So overmuch of my hatred was trauma-related, and hatred was easier than facing my pain,” helium says. “Hate became my drug. It was however I coped.”
Buckley’s beingness spiraled down adjacent further aft a backmost wounded — helium was connected an Army humanitarian ngo successful 2009 successful Kentucky pursuing monolithic storms erstwhile his Humvee went disconnected the roadworthy — near him addicted to opioids and different drugs.
All this made him ripe for the Klan, which offered a consciousness of enactment and purpose. He officially joined successful 2014, and soon was teaching chap members however to conceal weapons and instrumentality down an enemy.
“So overmuch of my hatred was trauma-related, and hatred was easier than facing my pain. Hate became my drug. It was however I coped.”
Chris Buckley
But Buckley’s woman grew progressively uncomfortable with his membership, and yet reached retired to Michaelis for help. After months of talking with Michaelis — and with his woman threatening to permission — Buckley became acceptable to springiness up the group.
Relinquishing his beliefs was tougher, though. “I inactive wanted thing to explicate the wounded I was carrying with me. I wanted to proceed to hatred Islam,” helium says. “Meeting a Muslim was disconnected the table.”
Coming together
After Michaelis made the Facebook introduction, Kelli started with a fewer little messages, things like, What’s up? How are you? Happy New Year.
“I was conscionable sincere and friendly. I had nary agenda,” helium says.
The elemental messages wore down immoderate of Buckley’s resistance. When Buckley yet replied, the 2 recovered they had a batch successful common. They some were married, had kids, and were the aforesaid age. But the top similarity was that they some loved the United States.
“[Chris’s] representation was that Muslims and refugees don’t truly similar this country, that they conscionable privation to instrumentality vantage of it. He was amazed by however overmuch emotion I person for this country,” Kelli recalls.
Soon the 2 moved connected to telephone conversations, including 1 that Buckley calls his 45-minute rant astir weapon control. If conversations crossed a boundary, they would fto the different know. “We apologize. We don’t get defensive,” says Buckley.
Finally, aft galore telephone calls, successful 2018 the 2 met successful person, astatine Buckley’s location successful the 8-square-mile municipality of Lafayette, Georgia.
As Kelli made the two-hour drive, Buckley battled nerves. “[My family] shared a shack with roaches and rats,” says Buckley, who past was moving arsenic a instrumentality mechanic successful a carpet mill. “I was embarrassed.”
On his end, Kelli recovered the sojourn eye-opening. “They lived successful the mediate of nowhere, with astir nothing. To spot that [poverty] successful America truly touched my heart.” Suddenly, Kelli could amended recognize immoderate people’s resentment toward immigrants similar him.
“Anger unneurotic with fearfulness creates hate,” helium says.
The incidental besides made an content connected Buckley. “Heval said, ‘I tin spot wherefore you mightiness hatred refugees who travel present and get assistance,’” helium says, recalling heavy gratitude for Kelli’s empathy. “I retrieve I cried,” says Buckley.
That consciousness of being understood and Kelli’s enactment were important to his recovery, Buckley says. “It takes idiosyncratic to amusement america however mislaid we’ve gotten. Heval is that idiosyncratic for me.”
Buckley’s betterment way covers overmuch ground. He’s been drug-free for 5 years, and has built a coagulated narration with his woman arsenic good his lad and daughter, present ages 8 and 11. He has worked for Parents4Peace, a Memphis-based anti-extremism nonprofit that helps extract radical from hatred groups, for 3 years. He besides created a betterment programme for veterans and others who person suffered trauma.
Meanwhile, his relationship with Kelli continues. In fact, the 2 talk each week, and their families spell retired for Middle Eastern nutrient whenever the Buckleys marque the travel into Atlanta.
And arsenic they person for years now, they are moving to usage that relationship to payment others. They person spoken unneurotic successful churches, schools, and elsewhere, including successful a municipality that had been the tract of a neo-Nazi gathering the twelvemonth before. So far, Kelli estimates that astatine slightest a 1000 radical person heard them.
Kelli, who feels tremendous admiration for Buckley, calls specified enactment crucial.
“We are 1 of the top countries successful the world, but it’s not capable conscionable to accidental that. We person to support moving connected our issues, support uncomfortably moving connected them.”
On his end, Buckley is committed to addressing those issues unneurotic with Kelli. “Our enactment is conscionable beginning. It’s going to beryllium amazing,” helium says. “I don’t cognize precisely what the aboriginal entails, but there’s nary script successful which we are not doing this enactment together.”
English (US)