By Nick Beake
BBC News Europe correspondent
On a span overlooking a Brussels canal, Mohamed El Bachiri's look lights up successful the wintertime prima arsenic helium remembers the mum of his 3 boys.
"Loubna was an angel, she was beautiful, she was ever smiling, she was an bonzer parent and wife," says Mohamed.
Thirty-four-year-old teacher Loubna Lafquiri was murdered connected the Brussels metro connected the greeting of 22 March 2016.
In all, 32 radical were killed by 3 termination bombers successful the attacks astatine Maelbeek presumption and Zaventem airport.
Ten men are present going connected proceedings successful the Belgian capital. Six of them person already been recovered blameworthy of engagement successful the panic attacks successful Paris successful November 2015, which killed 130 people.
Salah Abdeslam, the main fishy successful the French proceedings who was detained 4 days earlier the Brussels attacks, is besides among the defendants, on with others whom prosecutors assertion hosted oregon helped definite attackers.
One of the 10, who is presumed killed successful Syria, volition beryllium tried successful absentia.
Back successful 2016, Mohamed El Bachiri was plunged into grief with the realisation helium was present a widowed begetter to 3 children nether the property of 10.
His contiguous response? A Jihad of Love.
This, the sanction of the publication helium subsequently wrote, was intended to wrestle backmost the communicative from men who had grown up successful his assemblage and who had corrupted his Islamic faith.
"I needed to explicit a benignant of choler - which is legitimate. My choler expresses itself successful the jihad [struggle] of love. Sharing love. That's my mode of violently responding to the terrorists. To deconstruct their ideology."
I conscionable Mohamed successful Molenbeek, 1 of the poorest districts of Brussels. It is wherever plotters of some the 2016 Brussels bombings and the Paris attacks had lived and were aboriginal fixed refuge amid a immense manhunt.
Whenever specified high-profile cases travel to court, we the media often speech of an accidental for justness to yet beryllium done, oregon a infinitesimal wherever bereaved families tin "move on."
But Mohamed volition not beryllium attending the trial.
"I person 3 kids who truly request my energy, who request strength," says Mohamed. "It's not ever obvious, but I truly request to support myself and I americium sincerely acrophobic what the ineligible process mightiness reawaken successful me."
Does helium ever let himself to deliberation astir those who took distant the "love of his life"?
"I deliberation those men connected trial, their thoughts are successful hatred and acheronian and negativity. And to privation them sick - I clasp to the principles of humanism and I can't privation suffering connected others. I don't person hatred, it brings thing to your life. How to respond to this is with a connection of bid and emotion and not to beryllium bittersweet oregon negative."
As I and my Brussels colleagues began to deliberation astir however we would screen this proceedings successful our adopted city, we considered which of the 32 bereaved families we would effort to attack to inquire if they felt capable to talk.
Mohamed was an evident choice, arsenic a begetter of 3 who inactive lives successful the assemblage wherever immoderate of the killers had plotted. So excessively was Charlotte Dixon-Sutcliffe, whose spouse David was the lone Briton murdered successful the Brussels attacks; successful aboriginal 2016, she and David had been surviving successful Brussels with their lad Henry, who was turning seven.
What nary of america knew was that an immediate, profound enslaved had been forged betwixt Mohamed and Charlotte successful the hours aft the attacks, arsenic photos of their respective missing loved ones David and Loubna circulated online.
"On my Facebook they ever appeared adjacent to each different and I was invested successful her," says Charlotte.
"She was conscionable truthful beauteous and she was with her 3 children. Her eyes were shining done the photograph."
In a parkland overlooking the River Thames successful London, Charlotte tells her communicative with the aforesaid illuminated look that Mohamed had erstwhile besides describing Loubna.
"I conscionable felt truly attached to her and astir similar - and this whitethorn dependable ridiculous - but astir similar their fates were intertwined."
Charlotte says the transportation with Loubna was overwhelming.
"It was astir similar I was arsenic invested successful her being recovered arsenic it was David. It's similar she became a household subordinate oregon idiosyncratic that I cared about, adjacent though I had ne'er met her. It was heartbreaking for maine with David. But it felt similar I'd mislaid her arsenic well."
For Charlotte, her attraction by the Belgian authorities had compounded her trauma arsenic she had searched successful vain for her partner.
"With my representation of David we were going into section constabulary stations and they were gathering circular and conscionable saying, 'Well, it's thing to bash with us, it's a national matter'," she says.
Three days aft the attack, Charlotte got a telephone from a constabulary societal worker:
"It was dark. I was walking the canine astir the streets. She said I had to hole myself for the worst now. She fundamentally told maine that David was dead. She told maine implicit the phone."
Charlotte says the authorities became much supportive recently.
Much similar however Mohamed channelled his grief into penning his publication and sharing his connection successful schools, Charlotte founded an organisation called Survivors Against Terror.
"One of the large drives is to marque definite that violent acts don't hap successful the archetypal instance. But if they do, having seen the mediocre attraction and immoderate of the fantabulous treatment, it instils a massively beardown thrust to marque a quality and to alteration things truthful that nary 1 has to endure successful the mode that we did."
After the attacks, she and her lad Henry near Belgium to effort to rebuild their lives but Charlotte has decided to instrumentality to Brussels for the commencement of the trial.
The defendants see Mohamed Abrini, who prosecutors accidental is the "man successful the hat" who was captured connected CCTV fleeing the airdrome aft his suitcase of explosives failed to detonate.
"So galore of them person already been recovered blameworthy and are serving sentences. But I deliberation they weren't the lone ones. I deliberation that determination was a immense misstep successful the mode that the Belgian authorities handled the attacks, [how it] behaved connected the time of the onslaught and starring up to the attack."
Charlotte points to quality failings successful the tally up to the onslaught and the determination to support the metro moving aft the earlier airdrome bombings.
There were authorities resignations and apologies successful the aftermath, but that is not capable for galore bereaved families and survivors.
"Culpability evidently fundamentally rests with those who committed the attacks, but surely there's a level of culpability by the Belgian authorities that I consciousness needs to beryllium addressed," says Charlotte.
As good arsenic shining a airy connected however the authorities acted, Charlotte welcomes the accidental to springiness a unfortunate interaction statement.
"Me being capable to contiguous a representation of David successful tribunal volition springiness maine immoderate peace. It volition springiness maine thing that volition assistance maine link a consciousness of justness for him."
She doesn't privation her spouse remembered arsenic conscionable 1 of 32 victims.
"David was incredibly funny, the powerfulness helium had to beryllium capable to link to different people, to beryllium capable to bring joyousness to people's lives - it's similar it's the precise polar other of the radical successful those boxes."
That's a notation to the solid boxes for the defendants successful the specially constructed tribunal astatine the erstwhile Nato office wherever the proceedings volition dilatory play retired implicit the adjacent six months.
In September, the justice ruled the boxes should beryllium reworked aft defence lawyers argued they were similar carnal cages.
In all, the delayed proceedings is expected to outgo up to 25 cardinal euros ($25.9m; £21.5m).
In the greyness of the tribunal and the grind of the ineligible process, Charlotte hopes her depiction of her David volition supply immoderate colour.
"I anticipation that joyousness stays with him. And I deliberation possibly if I could bring to that spot a consciousness of lightness and transportation and emotion and happiness, past that's got to beryllium something, doesn't it?"
In the people of this moving connected this communicative we discovered the enslaved Charlotte felt for Loubna was reciprocated.
When we had said our goodbyes to Mohamed, I asked if helium was peculiarly attached to immoderate of the different families of the victims.
"There was a British woman. She had a young lad and besides mislaid her partner."
When I explicate we are besides interviewing Charlotte and she is returning to his metropolis for the proceedings a grin breaks retired crossed his face.
Neither knows however they volition respond to the coming months but some anticipation to conscionable each different and reenforce the solidarity and tone the terrorists unwittingly created.
"They've created a web of radical that speech astir cohesion and emotion and community," says Charlotte.
"They destroyed immoderate of us, but we travel unneurotic and we're stronger. You cognize what? Our connection is stronger. And that's wherefore they won't win."