FA Cup fourth round: Derby County's Max Bird on what losing his dad taught him about life and loss

Max Bird captained Derby County against Liverpool astatine Anfield successful the Carabao Cup successful November

"I person a photograph of Dad by the broadside of my bed," says Max Bird. "He's successful a Manchester United garment and we're connected holiday. At night, earlier I spell to sleep, I speech to him."

Eight hours aft Andrew passed away, Bird captained the Rams to an 8-1 triumph implicit Bristol City successful an under-23 cupful fixture astatine Loughborough University Stadium. He was 18 astatine the time.

"Dad would person been raging had I not played that day," Bird, 22, tells BBC Sport. "I needed to play football. It would person eaten distant astatine maine much had I missed the match."

As League One Derby hole to big Premier League West Ham successful the 4th circular of the FA Cup connected Monday (19:45 GMT), Bird opens up connected however shot has helped him header with bereavement, grief and loss.

"At 1 signifier Dad was doing good successful hospital," helium adds. "He was warring and warring for 2 weeks. Then determination was a dilatory deterioration.

"I cannot enactment into words what it was like."

Max with his dada Andrew astatine a Manchester United crippled astatine Old Trafford

'So arrogant of you'

In Bird's location is simply a games country and successful it hangs a framed achromatic garment with the fig 13 connected it. It is the 1 his dada wore erstwhile playing hoops for England astatine younker level.

Andrew, who was 6ft 7in tall, passed up the accidental to spell to the United States and play hoops portion studying.

"He was ever connected astatine maine due to the fact that helium had missed his accidental and didn't privation to spot my endowment spell to waste," adds Bird, who grew up watching Manchester United with his dada astatine Old Trafford.

As play summons holders, the brace would question from Burton, Staffordshire, to ticker Rio Ferdinand, Paul Scholes and Wayne Rooney propel Sir Alex Ferguson's broadside towards a Premier League and Champions League treble successful 2007-08.

Bird, who was 7 astatine the time, recalls 1 crippled successful peculiar that season, which they watched unneurotic astatine Old Trafford.

"I retrieve crying erstwhile the teams came retired for the Champions League semi-final with Barcelona due to the fact that it was the champion ambiance I had ever witnessed," helium says.

"I was a play summons holder from the property of six to astir 11. The magnitude of worldly I learned from conscionable sitting there, I was glued to the games.

"On the mode location we'd dissect the lucifer unneurotic and speech astir who had played good and who hadn't."

Andrew, described arsenic a "gentle giant" who dedicated his beingness to education, watched his lad flourish astatine Derby's academy and would station messages connected societal media charting his progress.

Two months earlier helium died, Andrew wrote connected Twitter: "So arrogant of you mate - enactment focused and humble, past determination is plentifulness much to come!" He had conscionable seen his lad marque his archetypal league quality for the Rams astatine the property of 18.

"If I had a atrocious crippled he'd archer maine and if I had a bully crippled he'd shingle my manus and accidental 'now spell and bash it again'," adds Bird.

"He drilled it into maine I had to beryllium the champion each week. He'd accidental things similar 'never beryllium satisfied, ever privation more'.

"It wasn't ever shot stuff. He'd archer maine however to beryllium a bully idiosyncratic and accidental 'look aft your mum and your brother'. He'd beryllium connected to maine astir being a leader.

"He'd accidental to maine 'you're going to play for England' each the time. 'Believe successful yourself... you're going to play for England.'"

'I played hours aft dada passed away'

It was betwixt 4am and 5am erstwhile Andrew died successful the Queen's Hospital, Burton. Bird, who was dormant successful a country astatine the hospital, was woken and told the news.

After spending immoderate clip unsocial with his father, helium rang his Derby academy manager Darren Wassall to archer him the quality and that helium inactive wanted to play against Bristol City aboriginal that day.

"Darren asked 'are you sure?'," says Bird. "Dad would person wanted maine to play. When I was increasing up, whenever I was upset I would spell and footwear a shot and tally aft it."

On the crippled itself, helium adds: "I'd had astir 4 hours' slumber and I was eating jelly babies to effort and springiness myself an vigor boost.

"I saw Darren and Pat [Lyons, academy coach] earlier the crippled and cried my eyes retired to them. I past went into the dressing country and tried to beryllium myself. It's 1 of the toughest things I person ever done."

It was lone aft the Premier League Cup necktie that Bird told his team-mates his dada had died.

Max is simply a postgraduate of Derby's academy

'I fastener myself distant and fto it each out'

Bird ne'er got the accidental to archer his dada helium loved him arsenic helium laic successful a coma successful hospital.

"I archer my brother, Charles, I emotion him each time due to the fact that of that," helium says. "He's my champion mate, we person a truly choky relationship.

"My mum, Lisa, lives adjacent to me. We bask each time arsenic it comes due to the fact that of what happened. We ne'er instrumentality thing for granted."

Bird is afloat of praise for Frank Lampard, Derby's manager astatine the clip of Andrew's death, for the mode helium handled the situation.

"He rang my mum, helium rang my brother. We played Aston Villa successful the Championship six days aft my dada passed and we mislaid 4-0.

"Frank came into the dressing country aft the crippled and said 'you are each pants isolated from 1 player'. He pointed astatine me. He was like, 'he's conscionable mislaid his dada and helium tin bash this'."

It is approaching the 4th day of Andrew's death.

"I've learned to woody with it successful antithetic ways," Bird says. "I speech to him. Before each crippled I instrumentality a small clip to deliberation what helium wants from me.

"My mode of dealing with it is locking myself away, letting it each retired and past having a laughter with my mates. My dada knew each my mates and utilized to articulation successful with america and beryllium a large kid."

Since losing his dad, Bird has established himself successful Derby's archetypal squad and captained the Rams against Liverpool astatine Anfield successful the Carabao Cup earlier this season. He has besides played alongside Rooney, who helium idolised arsenic a young Manchester United fan.

What proposal would his dada springiness him earlier facing West Ham successful the FA Cup?

"He'd archer maine to spell retired and amusement them I beryllium connected this stage," says Bird.

Growing up, Max utilized to ticker Wayne Rooney play astatine Manchester United earlier playing alongside the erstwhile England guardant astatine Derby

If you, oregon idiosyncratic you know, person been affected by immoderate issues raised successful this article, enactment and accusation is disposable astatine BBC Action Line.