Family courts: 'We kidnapped our kids from abusive dads and fled the UK’

A increasing fig of women who accidental their children were handed to abusive partners by England and Wales' household courts person abducted them and fled to Turkish-controlled bluish Cyprus. The BBC spoke to six of them to analyse immoderate of their stories.

"I'm told determination is an apprehension warrant retired for me. Court orders accidental I can't interaction household members, my kid can't talk to their grandparents," says Rose - not her existent name. "It's destroyed my family."

She's isolated successful a overseas state and says her slope accounts are frozen. But Rose inactive believes bluish Cyprus - portion of a divided island, occupied by Turkey but not recognised internationally arsenic a authorities - is simply a harmless haven for her.

The UK says it takes each lawsuit of planetary parental kid abduction precise earnestly and the instrumentality tin beryllium utilized to bring children back. But bluish Cyprus is not signed up to the planetary pact connected kid abduction and determination is nary authoritative extradition agreement.

We made the travel to this self-declared republic to find retired what was driving mothers to interruption the law, permission household and friends behind, and fly overseas with lone their children.

Rose says her spouse successful the UK was convulsive and raped her portion she was pregnant. Even aft she left, Rose says she was taxable to a "campaign of abuse". "I was stalked, harassed," she says.

The BBC has corroborated Rose's communicative with her household and friends. We person besides seen confirmation that the constabulary were called retired to reports of stalking and abuse.

One constabulary report, made aft a assertion of home violence, graded Rose arsenic being astatine hazard of further harm. Rose's spouse was ne'er convicted of an offence.

On days erstwhile her spouse had interaction with her daughter, Rose says the miss would instrumentality distressed. "When your kid says 'Mummy, Daddy's wounded me' it breaks you," she says.

Officers referred Rose to an autarkic home unit advisor and supported her determination distant from her ex.

Like each the mothers we feature, Rose's communicative highlights the complexities progressive successful galore drawn-out household tribunal cases.

The begetter brought a lawsuit successful the household tribunal accusing her of frustrating interaction with their daughter. Rose says the tribunal didn't instrumentality earnestly oregon analyse her information concerns.

Rose says her kid refused to spot her father, which she believes was seen by the tribunal arsenic grounds of parental alienation - and led to the tribunal ordering her girl to unrecorded with the father.

Parental alienation is simply a disputed conception of children rejecting 1 genitor due to the fact that of manipulation by the other.

"It astir destroyed me. The handover was horrific, my kid was screaming, kicking - 'Don't marque maine go, Mummy' - grabbing me."

Away from court, Rose had been referred to Victim Support and her child's schoolhouse had raised concerns. "But the tribunal wanted interaction [with the father] astatine each costs. I was protecting my child," she says.

Rose says interaction with her girl became precise limited. On 1 visit, she decided to instrumentality her kid and flee, yet making it to bluish Cyprus.

"The archetypal night, I conscionable stayed awake and watched my girl breathe," she says.

The communicative of women fleeing the UK with their kids. They accidental the strategy has failed them.

Rose understands what she did was against the law.

The courts successful bluish Cyprus person considered grounds against the begetter and granted Rose and her kid a extortion order, which means helium cannot attack her oregon the girl. A psychiatrist has besides diagnosed Rose and her girl with post-traumatic accent disorder.

But the determination to tally means Rose cannot permission her caller location without facing imaginable transgression action. "We are harmless but successful a benignant of prison," she says. "I'd bash it each again though, thing to support my kid - what mum wouldn't? All I person ever done is fight, without this I'd beryllium dead."

The BBC spoke to 9 mothers successful each - from Tunisia to Thailand - who said they had fled the UK due to the fact that they were victims of home violence. But it was successful bluish Cyprus wherever we recovered a sizeable radical of women hiding with their children.

It took weeks of gathering spot earlier anyone would talk, galore of the women we tracked down had mislaid anticipation and were terrified of being identified by their erstwhile partners. Some accidental they had changed their names and appearances drastically.

All of them accidental that earlier fleeing the UK, their children had been - oregon were owed to beryllium - placed permanently by the household tribunal with fathers they had reported for abuse. Most of the mothers accidental they were accused successful the cases by their erstwhile partners of parental alienation.

The BBC has seen aggregate constabulary reports for allegations of home unit successful transportation with the women we interviewed, written astatine the clip of the incidents. We've besides seen home maltreatment hazard assessments - arsenic good arsenic IDVA (independent home unit adviser) reports detailing abuse.

The mothers each spoke to america connected information of anonymity. To support the privateness of children and those involved, household courts mostly run successful concealed and if the women spoke openly astir their cases they hazard being jailed for contempt of court, arsenic good arsenic facing apprehension for kid abduction.

These mothers told the BBC that hundreds of women similar them had fled the UK for overseas jurisdictions. Like Rose, immoderate person had their slope accounts frozen, their passports person been cancelled, and Interpol has issued reddish notices for their arrest.

Many of them were helped by an online web of women who person antecedently fled the UK and different radical sympathetic to their plight. Some suggest bluish Cyprus arsenic a harmless spot retired of scope of UK authorities.

One mother, who we are calling Sophie, says she fled to Turkish-controlled territory aft reaching retired for help. She present lives nether a caller name, having changed her appearance.

If you are affected by immoderate of the issues raised successful this report, you tin find details of assistance and enactment via the BBC Action Line here.

Sophie had reported her spouse to the constabulary for rape - and had claimed helium was financially and emotionally abusive. Once she near him, helium became assertive and controlling towards their child, she says.

Maintaining interaction with an abusive genitor was damaging her ain narration with her child, she says. "My kid started losing religion successful me, they started mistrusting me."

The lowest constituent came, she says, erstwhile her kid broke down and described successful item however they would instrumentality their ain beingness if interaction continued. They besides developed carnal and intelligence wellness problems.

This led to interaction with the begetter breaking down. But Sophie says her concerns were not heard and she was accused of parental alienation. "I was told I was the abuser," she says.

She felt she had nary prime but to flee. "It broke maine into pieces, I couldn't measurement into that household tribunal again. My nerves went, I mislaid my job… anxiousness and slump each followed," she says.

Sophie says she needed situation intelligence wellness support, but was excessively acrophobic to question it due to the fact that she was acrophobic the tribunal would criticise her for not coping.

There is nary publicly-available information connected however galore mothers person fled the UK aft suffering home maltreatment and being accused of parental alienation. One mum who has been successful bluish Cyprus for implicit a decennary tells america she is alert of astir 75 different mothers who person arrived during her clip there. She describes a troubling representation of susceptible radical with young children successful a spot retired of scope of UK authorities.

"Some person truly struggled, been desperate, adjacent stolen to provender their kids," she says. She adds that portion galore are fleeing aft tribunal disputes with their abusers, others were escaping the attraction of societal workers successful the UK.

Another parent who says she fled maltreatment and parental alienation accusations - we're calling her Kerry - tells the BBC immoderate women person been extorted oregon recovered that radical person sold their idiosyncratic accusation to their exes.

Some mothers, having breached the law, proceed to unrecorded successful fear. Kerry says immoderate erstwhile partners person hired backstage investigators. "There's a database going circular with names on, I'm petrified. It's similar we're hunted by the household courts and our abusers," she says.

As portion of our investigations, we discovered that five UK mums person died successful the past six years aft the household courts fto fathers accused of maltreatment use for interaction with their children. Some of the women took their ain lives - 1 had a bosom onslaught extracurricular court.

The judiciary successful England and Wales has commissioned a study to analyse the "potentially heightened hazard of suicide" aft engagement successful household tribunal proceedings.

The word "parental alienation" was archetypal coined arsenic "parental alienation syndrome" by the arguable US psychiatrist Richard Gardner. It applied to children who had purportedly been brainwashed by a genitor - usually, but not always, their parent - into making allegations of abuse.

The conception was criticised for a deficiency of grounds - but has been reframed simply arsenic "parental alienation". Supported by immoderate psychologists, it is often cited successful England and Wales' household courts.

Earlier this year, the United Nations Special Rapporteur connected unit against women and girls called for the usage of parental alienation to beryllium prohibited globally.

The Family Justice Council has issued caller draught guidance for consultation connected however to woody with "allegations of alienating behaviour". It focuses connected dealing with grounds and uncovering facts archetypal earlier judgements are made. This is thing home unit and household instrumentality experts person been calling for.

The guidance acknowledges that "parental alienation" has been a "vexed and highly emotive concept" which has polarised sentiment - and which the household courts successful England and Wales person been progressively asked to see and enactment on.

Mine Atlı, a bluish Cyprus person and lawyer who has represented women who fled the UK, says these mothers request immoderate signifier of amnesty. "There needs to beryllium a way of information for these women," she says.

"These women and their children are being deprived of the nationalist identities of their homelands due to the fact that of the assertive actions of a perpetrator."

Bob Grieg runs a not-for-profit website supporting dads going done separation, called "OnlyDads".

He's says thousands of fathers connection him asking for assistance to spot their children - and that immoderate haven't had interaction for months. He urges household courts to analyse grounds archetypal during proceedings.

"If I'm talking to a dada I inquire him not to usage the operation 'alienation'. It has lone travel to the fore implicit the past six oregon 7 years. It means antithetic things to antithetic parents."

If 1 genitor has turned a kid against the different parent, the harm tin past forever, helium says.

Dr Angharad Rudkin - a kid objective scientist and writer - fears that due to the fact that parental alienation arsenic a conception is truthful misunderstood and controversial, the payment of children tin beryllium mislaid successful the debate.

"If children are being told 'Dad oregon Mum ne'er loved you, you meant thing to them,' it confuses and saddens them. It has a detrimental effect connected their spot successful relationships."

Dr Rudkin says the accent and anxiousness of divorcement tin enactment with children for the remainder of their lives - and determination needs to beryllium an informed and calmer statement implicit imaginable alienating processes successful narration breakdowns.

In bluish Cyprus, we learned of 1 parent - we are calling her Susan - who went done a decennary of household tribunal hearings earlier fleeing the UK. Her communicative highlights the analyzable quality of drawn retired proceedings with assertion and antagonistic claims being enactment earlier the household courts.

She says during 120 tribunal appearances she and her kid were not listened to, and the toll of the hearings led to superior problems astatine her spot of work. "It was state-sanctioned abuse," she says.

Susan says she made astir 50 calls to constabulary against her hubby during their relationship. After she left, she says her erstwhile hubby inactive controlled her financially and stalked her.

The BBC has seen details of aggregate constabulary reports astir Susan's husband. We person besides seen grounds from professionals accepting that Susan was suffering trauma.

Susan's children had refused to spot their begetter successful a interaction centre, thing she blames connected the maltreatment inflicted connected her. But she ended up being accused of parental alienation and the children's residency was transferred to the father.

Susan decided to run. Breaking the instrumentality successful this mode has travel astatine a immense outgo for each involved. Family members person died and she could not adjacent accidental goodbye. "It's a persecution, it's ever the unfortunate who loses out. It's maine who's labelled arsenic a superior criminal."

Her son, who spoke to america with her permission, says helium is thriving successful bluish Cyprus. "I'm a straight-A student, I'm stress-free here," helium says. "I privation to beryllium a doctor, but if I spell backmost to England I'll beryllium taken into care. I'm not allowed to person a passport. I person ne'er been listened to."

The Domestic Abuse Commissioner for England and Wales has called for urgent betterment of the household courts. Nicole Jacobs says the courts are failing to woody with home maltreatment cases and putting children astatine risk.

She has besides raised concerns astir the usage of parental alienation saying it's having a "chilling effect connected victims of home abuse" resulting successful unsafe interaction orders successful backstage household instrumentality proceedings.

The Ministry of Justice told the BBC it had made important improvements to the household tribunal strategy successful caller years to support home maltreatment victims - including preventing cross-examination by their abusers, expanding their eligibility for ineligible aid, and extending the usage of peculiar measures similar protective screens and the quality to supply grounds by video-link.

Separately, the authorities says it is considering whether further enactment is needed connected alienation. The astir caller figures amusement that its International Child Abduction and Contact Unit - which helps to instrumentality children taken overseas by 1 genitor without the other's consent - is dealing with 1,341 cases. Although it is not known however galore are mothers escaping alleged abusers.

For the mothers hiding retired successful bluish Cyprus, immoderate confirmed alteration successful guidance from the judiciary connected parental alienation could travel excessively precocious for them.

Susan says she is frightened and sick from stress. "I've mislaid my family, friends and truthful overmuch money. But if I'd stayed successful England, I'd beryllium dormant and my kids would beryllium successful care."