From the Ashes: Alastair Cook on the highs and lows of facing Australia

From the Ashes is simply a bid of features and podcasts which excavation deeper into tales of pain, despair and sometimes triumph successful cricket's fiercest and astir storied Test series.

Few person experienced much of England's modern Ashes past than Alastair Cook.

During a 12-year planetary career, Cook played each 1 of a imaginable 35 Ashes Tests, scoring much runs than immoderate subordinate connected either side.

Only Archie MacLaren, astatine the opening of the past century, led England successful much Ashes Tests than Cook's 15 arsenic skipper.

Player of the bid for 766 runs successful England's celebrated 2010-11 triumph down under, Cook mislaid 14 of the different 15 Tests helium played successful Australia, including the 2013-14 5-0 cleanable expanse arsenic captain.

In England, helium ne'er mislaid successful 3 bid and is 1 of lone 3 England skippers to triumph much than 1 location Ashes.

Opener Cook made his people against the Australians adjacent earlier helium played for England, scoring 214 arsenic a 20-year-old for Essex against a squad that was astir to gully the 5th Test of the iconic 2005 summer, frankincense losing the urn for the archetypal clip successful 16 years.

Eighteen months later, helium was portion of an England squad that felt the afloat unit of Australian revenge.

Though Cook made his maiden Ashes 100 successful Perth, a broadside containing Shane Warne, Glenn McGrath, Adam Gilchrist and Ricky Ponting reclaimed the urn successful devastating fashion, hammering Andrew Flintoff's men 5-0.

• From the Ashes podcast: Alastair Cook

"I watched Ricky Ponting marque a 100 successful Brisbane and thought 'I didn't deliberation you could play that well'," Cook, 38, tells BBC Sport.

"My woman (now wife, Alice) and her dada were there, my mum and dada were there. At the extremity of the series, they were going for dinner, but I couldn't. I conscionable said 'no, I don't privation to spell out'. I sat successful my room. I didn't privation to look radical due to the fact that I felt embarrassed astir it."

Cook, though, played done an epoch wherever the Ashes urn clocked up galore thousands of aerial miles. The adjacent clip Australia visited the UK, successful 2009, 1 of the smallest trophies successful satellite athletics changed hands again.

In the deciding Test astatine The Oval, Cook was fielding astatine abbreviated limb erstwhile helium took the winning drawback to disregard Mike Hussey disconnected the bowling of Graeme Swann.

"One of my friends, Ian Elliott, who I played nine cricket with astatine Malden, substance maine that greeting and said 'if you drawback the ball, enactment it successful your pocket'," says Cook. "When I took the catch, the subconscious took implicit and I had the beingness of caput to enactment it successful my pocket.

"Swanny wrestled maine for it successful the dressing country astatine The Oval, but I'm evidently a batch stronger and helium had nary chance. The Lord's depository asked if I'd donate it. I deliberation it says 'donated by Graeme Swann and Alastair Cook', but it's surely my shot and not his."

Cook averaged little than 25 successful that 2009 series, with a highest people of 95 - each of his 5 Ashes hundreds came distant from home.

"To beryllium portion of winning was precise special, but determination was a burning tendency for thing else," helium says.

"Jimmy Anderson and I sat successful The Oval changing country and some said 'wouldn't it person been bully to person played a bigger portion successful this'? We some felt similar we hadn't made the interaction we would person liked.

"That was the adjacent thing. I was an Ashes winner, but I wanted to marque a difference."

In the aftermath of 2009, Cook tinkered with his method successful an effort to win against the Aussies.

The pursuing summer, a caller method brought him a highest people of lone 29 going into the 2nd innings of the 3rd Test against Pakistan astatine The Oval. His England aboriginal - and a spot connected the 2010-11 circuit of Australia - was successful jeopardy.

"I was 4 not retired overnight, and that was a nick done the slips," helium recalls. "I wasn't successful a large framework of caput and went down to the barroom to devour meal alone. I didn't privation to speech to anyone.

"The sports scientist came up to maine and said 'are you alright?' I said 'not really, I'm astir to spell and decorativeness my past innings for England'.

"He said 'can I help?' I said 'what are you going to do, bat for me?'

"I made a pact with myself that nighttime to not get retired defending. I went backmost to my aged method and, adjacent morning, deed my archetypal shot from extracurricular disconnected stump done mid-wicket for four. I had 80-odd by luncheon and that 100 got maine connected the Ashes tour.

"I wasn't flying, but I had clarity successful my caput that was my champion technique. It mightiness not beryllium the champion method successful the world, but I couldn't beryllium immoderate better."

Old method restored, Cook was astir to embark connected 1 of the all-time large Ashes performances.

The 766 runs helium plundered successful 2010-11 is England's second-highest instrumentality successful a azygous Ashes series. It included 235 not retired from 517-1 successful a historical gully successful Brisbane, centuries successful Adelaide and Sydney and an 82 successful Melbourne - each games that England won by an innings arsenic they swept to a 3-1 triumph.

"I deed the saccharine spot of batting," helium says. "I was batting successful the nets successful Adelaide and Graham Gooch was slinging them down. I felt similar I could deed it anywhere. I was leaving the bully ones and if helium missed the cleanable length, I was driving oregon cutting.

"When I flew location from Australia I sat connected the level reasoning determination was thing much I could person done connected that tour. It was eventual satisfaction. You don't often get that."

Alastair Cook was subordinate of the bid arsenic England won the Ashes successful Australia successful 2010-11

It was a earthy progression for Cook to beryllium successful complaint of England for the adjacent Ashes series, a defence of the urn connected location ungraded successful 2013.

Uniquely, England were past owed to question down nether instantly afterwards for different Ashes series, meaning 10 consecutive Tests against an Australia broadside successful turmoil - they appointed Darren Lehmann arsenic manager to regenerate the sacked Micky Arthur conscionable 16 days earlier the contention successful the UK began. Ian Botham adjacent predicted that England would grounds 10 successive wins.

Though England serenely retained the Ashes 3-0, they did truthful successful attritional manner - grinding retired runs with the bat and tying opponents down with the ball.

"For maine it was each astir winning, but determination was a realisation aft that bid that determination is much to winning," reflects Cook.

"I don't deliberation we were an unpopular team, but we weren't a fashionable team."

Negative headlines came erstwhile immoderate members of the England squad were accused of urinating connected the outfield astatine The Oval during celebrations aft the 5th Test, but they were thing compared to what followed connected a shambolic circuit of Australia.

An England squad that had won the erstwhile 3 Ashes bid and reached fig 1 successful the satellite Test rankings was dismantled.

Turmoil wrong the campy was ruthlessly exposed by the terrifying gait of Mitchell Johnson, who laid discarded to England's batting.

"We fell isolated nether pressure," says Cook. "As a person I wasn't bully capable to usher america done that.

"I learned a hellhole of a lot. I'd emotion to cognize what would hap if I was enactment successful that concern again. I'd similar to deliberation I'd grip it amended than I did."

Jonathan Trott near the circuit aft the archetypal Test, portion Swann retired aft the Ashes were mislaid successful the third. Kevin Pietersen ne'er played for England again.

"I was relieved it was over, but I didn't privation my past enactment arsenic skipper to beryllium a 5-0 defeat," says Cook. "I had the hunger to transportation on. I felt I could pb the adjacent generation."

The hunger to transportation connected was tested successful the location summertime connected 2014, erstwhile his ain signifier and England's results pushed Cook to the brink of resigning. When runs and wins returned, Cook was inactive successful complaint for the 2015 Ashes, starring a caller England squad that were dense underdogs to regain the urn.

After Mark Butcher said England fans should "hide down the sofa" and Jonathan Agnew admitted Australia had him "quaking", Cook's broadside produced a sensational show to triumph the archetypal Test successful Cardiff.

Though Australia levelled the bid astatine Lord's, England had power of the 3rd Test aft time 1 astatine Edgbaston and the 4th aft time 1 astatine Trent Bridge - Stuart Broad's legendary 8-15 - to springiness Cook his redemption. He led the likes of Ben Stokes, Jos Buttler, Moeen Ali and Mark Wood to their archetypal Ashes bid win.

"When I was skipper successful 2013, it was with the remnants of the squad led by Andrew Strauss," says Cook. "In 2015, it was my team."

"That was my occupation done and it was the lone clip I'd ever got affectional arsenic captain. Mike Atherton asked maine a question and I choked up. It showed however arrogant I was of that team."

The 2015 Ashes bid was peculiarly peculiar for Alastair Cook, who shaped the England squad nether his ain leadership

Despite the euphoria of regaining the urn, Cook knew helium was improbable to skipper different Ashes Test. By the clip helium travelled to Australia successful 2017-18, helium had not lone relinquished the captaincy to Joe Root, but was besides having thoughts of retirement.

Three Tests later, the Ashes were gone erstwhile much and Cook had lone managed a highest people of 37. Efforts of 7 and 14 successful the 3rd Test successful Perth near him feeling "embarrassed" and successful fearfulness of being dropped.

Retained for the 4th Test connected Boxing Day successful Melbourne, Cook produced 1 much Ashes epic with what turned retired to beryllium his last ton against the Aussies.

On the 2nd evening, aft Australia had been bowled retired for 327, Cook reached 3 figures and celebrated successful animated fashion. He ended the time unbeaten connected 104.

"I got into the changing room, enactment a towel implicit my caput and started crying, bawling my eyes out," helium says.

"I get a batch of disapproval from my woman for being precise unemotional. It's conscionable however I am. On that day, I don't cognize what triggered me, but for 5 minutes I cried my eyes out. Whether it was relief, oregon not having delivered erstwhile it mattered, I don't know.

"People were tapping maine connected the backmost and did not cognize what to do. When I'd cried each my tears, I was wondering what to bash next. I deliberation I wiped my eyes and said 'can I person a beer, please'."

The pursuing day, Cook moved to 244 not out, the fifth-highest people by an England subordinate successful an Ashes Test and highest ever by a visiting batter successful a Test astatine the Melbourne Cricket Ground.

"I could not person played immoderate better," says Cook.

Alastair Cook's sanction joined a database of all-time large performances astatine the MCG

Cook was earnestly questioning his planetary aboriginal connected the consequent circuit of New Zealand and retired astatine the extremity of the 2018 summertime with a fitting 100 successful his last Test innings against India astatine The Oval. Cook remains England's all-time highest run-scorer successful Test cricket with 12,472.

"I played 7 Ashes series, won 4 and mislaid three. I mightiness person mislaid much Tests than I won, but it's similar sets and limb successful darts - I won much bid than I lost," says Cook.

"I'm rather arrogant of what I've been a portion of. Some astonishing times, immoderate beauteous atrocious times and beauteous mean times.

"I consciousness fortunate to person been capable to acquisition that."

More 'From The Ashes' features

• What happened aft McGrath stood connected the ball?
• The rise, autumn and emergence again of Steven Finn
• How Elliott scored Ashes period portion breastfeeding astatine luncheon and tea
• 'That's it, boys. I'm off' - Gower's 'nightmare' Ashes

The men's Ashes begins connected 16 June, with the multi-format women's Ashes getting nether mode six days later. BBC Sport volition person broad sum crossed TV, vigor and online of some series.