Gisèle Pelicot lifts her sunglasses and chooses to fight back

There was a moment, a fewer weeks into the trial, erstwhile Gisèle Pelicot decided it was clip to region her sunglasses.

It wasn't conscionable an acknowledgment of the fading autumn sunshine successful the medieval confederate French metropolis of Avignon. It was besides an denotation that she'd passed a milestone – 1 of galore that person marked her slow, achy travel from serene grandmother, to anguished and shame-haunted rape victim, to fearful courtroom witness, to planetary icon of courageousness and defiance.

"She had these sunglasses she utilized to fell her eyes… to support her intimacy," said Stéphane Babonneau, the youthful transgression lawyer who for 2 years has guided Mrs Pelicot done the lawsuit against her ex-husband, Dominique, and 50 different men present connected proceedings for allegedly raping her.

"But determination was a constituent erstwhile she felt she nary longer needed to support herself. She didn't request [the glasses]," Mr Babonneau explained, seizing connected that infinitesimal arsenic a mode to exemplify the dilatory translation of a "sincere… precise humble person", who had begun the proceedings "extremely worried", shocked by the blaze of publicity, and inactive feeling "very ashamed of what had happened to her".

Over the people of the trial, Gisèle Pelicot, 72, has said astir thing astir her ordeal, beyond the occasional and little remark to supporters gathered successful Avignon's Palais de Justice.

But Mr Babonneau, speaking present with his client's blessing, has begun giving america insights into the mode she's handled herself successful court, and the mode she has dilatory and methodically sought to rebuild her beingness and, to a constricted extent, her bid of mind.

Another infinitesimal - and milestone - sticks out.

It was earlier this year, successful May. Mr Babonneau and his workfellow Antoine Camus had been trawling done immoderate of the 20,000 grotesquely explicit videos and photographs that constabulary discovered backmost successful 2020 connected Dominique Pelicot's machine hard drive.

A grim task. The videos were "absolutely disgusting," said Mr Babonneau. But it was the audio that was astir much shocking.

"It's imaginable to perceive Mrs Pelicot snoring… to perceive her breathing. It's adjacent much disturbing to perceive to her choking erstwhile immoderate of the men are abusing her. The dependable was precise important [evidence]."

Mr Babonneau knew that without those videos, "most apt determination would person been nary trial, nary case".

Mrs Pelicot understood that too, but could easy and understandably person decided, for her ain sanity, to debar watching immoderate of the footage herself.

Instead, Mr Babonneau remembers, she simply announced 1 day: "I'm acceptable now."

So, she sat down beside the 2 men, successful their office, arsenic they introduced a cautiously selected information of each video, explaining who the men were, and what she would beryllium seeing them bash to her. Then Mr Babonneau pressed play and images of the Pelicots' bedroom, successful their bungalow successful the colony Mazan, flashed up connected the screen.

Gisèle remained still, watching intently.

"How could he?" she yet asked, successful her quiescent voice. It was a operation she would support repeating implicit the coming days.

Then a small later, she noted the day connected 1 of the videos.

"That was my day evening."

"That happened successful [my] daughter's bed. In her formation house."

Mr Babonneau remembers Mrs Pelicot's sustained indignation, but noted excessively that she ne'er cried, and that with the assistance of experts, she'd managed "to enactment an awesome region betwixt what she was seeing and her intelligence health."

The lawyers saw this infinitesimal arsenic a "final test" that showed their lawsuit had regained "some benignant of equilibrium" successful the 4 years since 4 November 2020, erstwhile she'd been informed astir her husband's actions and "her satellite was destroyed."

She was present acceptable to look the rigours of a nationalist trial.

Mrs Pelicot had wanted to ticker the footage successful bid to recognize who each these men were, and to assistance capable successful the gaps successful her memory, caused by the years of being drugged by her husband.

"She has full pieces of her beingness that don't beryllium successful her mind," explained Mr Babonneau.

The aforesaid applicable concerns archetypal shaped her determination to opt for a nationalist trial, and to propulsion for the videos to beryllium shown successful unfastened court.

She was beyond angry, for sure. But astatine that signifier she wasn't looking to alteration the world. She was simply tense astir the thought of spending months wrong a closed courtroom packed with dozens of her abusers. A nationalist proceedings would, she thought, consciousness little intimidating.

The archetypal time of the proceedings was inactive traumatic. Sunglasses on, Mrs Pelicot was revealing herself successful nationalist for the precise archetypal time. And it got worse. Walking beside her up the steps towards the courthouse, Mr Babonneau noticed and recognised immoderate of the accused men, successful masks.

But Mrs Pelicot lone dilatory became alert that she was present surrounded by them, elbows bumping arsenic they jostled to get done the aforesaid information barriers.

"It was stressful for her. She was amazed however casual everything seemed to be," recalled Mr Babonneau.

And past came the infinitesimal – the archetypal successful 4 years – erstwhile Gisèle and Dominique Pelicot's eyes met crossed the crowded courtroom. Their chairs were arranged arsenic if to marque specified interaction unavoidable.

"I saw sometimes that they exchanged looks," Mr Babonneau noted. Gisèle had spoken repeatedly to her squad of her interest astir however she mightiness respond successful that archetypal encounter.

We cognize now, of course, that portion giving grounds successful tribunal Dominique Pelicot confessed to everything and that helium begged his household for forgiveness. We besides cognize that Gisèle Pelicot has not forgiven him.

"For sure, no. She cannot forgive him," said Mr Babonneau.

And yet, the mates were erstwhile profoundly successful love. They were joined for 50 years. And successful the courtroom, Mr Babonneau could tell, the erstwhile mates were not capable to disregard their shared past entirely. So, what did the lawyer spot successful those glances they exchanged?

It was similar they were saying "look astatine us," said Mr Babonneau.

He felt they were communicating to each different a shared consciousness of disbelief. Almost arsenic if they were, briefly, spectators watching the agonies of 2 strangers.

"How did we extremity up here?"

During the trial, defence lawyers for assorted accused men tried to suggest that Gisèle's composure, her deficiency of tears, someway implied that she was complicit successful her ain abuse. Or that she felt sympathy for Dominique Pelicot.

"When a unfortunate doesn't cry, oregon cries excessively much, determination is ever thing to criticise," said Mr Babonneau, with a flicker of contempt.

But portion the attacks intelligibly rattled Mrs Pelicot, she besides told her ineligible squad not to worry.

There was a elemental crushed for that. Nothing that the lawyers could propulsion astatine her successful tribunal could ever comparison with the precise worst infinitesimal of her life, that time successful November 2020, erstwhile an serviceman had sat her down astatine Carpentras Police Station and showed her the archetypal grim images that investigators had extracted from her husband's hard drive.

"You cognize I survived 2 November 2020, truthful I'm acceptable for everything now," Babonneau remembers her saying.

As the proceedings went on, Gisèle Pelicot was amazed to find that nationalist and media involvement was not drifting away, arsenic she and her squad had imagined it would. Instead, she began receiving letters and gifts and applause from cheering crowds.

"When she started receiving these letters, she felt immoderate benignant of work for victims who had suffered akin things," said Babonneau.

She came to recognize the uniqueness of her lawsuit – that the video grounds meant it was not simply "the connection of the unfortunate against the connection of the suspect", and that she present had a uncommon accidental "to alteration society".

"I'm fortunate to person the evidence. I person the proof, which is precise rare. So, I person to spell done [all this] to basal for each the victims," she told Mr Babonneau.

Her lawyer noticed, again, his client's "simple," applicable nature. She has nary involvement successful being "an activist", but is simply reasoning of however her acquisition of being drugged without realising it, could present assistance marque different women alert of the issue, and look retired for imaginable signs of akin abuse.

Had she known past what each of France knows now, possibly she could person enactment an extremity to her ordeal.

And possibly different women tin present bash the same.

As for the future, Mrs Pelicot may, perhaps, interruption her soundlessness with a fewer interviews successful the months ahead. But she's made it wide she wants "to stay an individual… she wants to unrecorded a precise elemental life."

And portion she whitethorn ne'er forgive her erstwhile "perfect" ex-husband, she has recovered a mode to negociate her memories of him and to cling connected to the "happy moments" they erstwhile shared.

Some psychiatrists reason that Dominique Pelicot is simply a comparatively emblematic psychopath – a high-functioning narcissist with nary capableness for empathy who weaved betwixt his sordid hidden beingness and the self-gratifying relation of playing of a household man. Gisèle Pelicot sees things much simply, embracing the idea, enactment guardant astatine the trial, of a divided personality.

As Mr Babonneau puts it, "there were 2 men successful Dominique Pelicot and she lone knew 1 of them."