Hair loss, nosebleeds, and a Taylor Swift concert: How I coped with chemo

BBC Scotland writer Nichola Rutherford recounts her acquisition of bosom crab treatment

I person bosom cancer. Saying it, penning it, doesn't get immoderate easier. I inactive can't rather judge it's happened to me.

Last week I finished six months of chemotherapy - days earlier Catherine, Princess of Wales announced she had besides completed akin attraction for cancer.

During 11 rounds of chemo, I've mislaid my hair, endured regular nosebleeds, and astir flooded a fearfulness of needles.

But mean beingness has continued - I've been capable to enactment connected reduced hours, we took a household vacation and I adjacent got to spot Taylor Swift connected her Eras tour.

We don't cognize what benignant of crab Catherine had, oregon the details of her aesculapian care. Every crab diligent receives attraction individually tailored to their disease.

All I tin bash is archer you however chemotherapy affected me.

Eight months agone I was a mean joined mum-of-two, juggling a rewarding full-time occupation arsenic a writer with the accustomed genitor taxi duties.

I ate home-cooked meals, enjoyed a mates of glasses of reddish vino astatine the play and tried to get retired for a tally 2 oregon 3 times a week.

Healthy, fit, happy. Playing by the rules.

Then astatine the opening of March, conscionable earlier my 45th birthday, I recovered a lump successful my close breast.

Within days - and aft a mammogram, an ultrasound and a biopsy - medics warned maine determination was a "strong suspicion" of cancer.

A succession of precise concerned-looking nurses and doctors told maine to effort not to interest up of the ceremonial diagnosis. Aye right, OK.

That nighttime - unsocial successful a edifice country successful Glasgow - I was a wreck. My caput was racing, reasoning astir loved ones I had mislaid to cancer, mentally composing letters to my kids, my husband; readying my funeral.

The adjacent fewer weeks are a blur of scans, tests, worry. There were immoderate truly bleak moments of despair.

You cognize that racing panic you consciousness successful your thorax erstwhile you aftermath up aft an atrocious dream? I felt similar that each the clip - without the alleviation that comes erstwhile you realise it was a nightmare.

I didn't cognize if I would unrecorded oregon die.

So erstwhile my oncologist utilized the words "curative intent" successful a gathering to sermon treatment, I felt a immense value assistance disconnected my chest.

It meant determination was a bully accidental helium could cure me, utilizing chemotherapy to trim the size of the crab successful my bosom and lymph nodes, earlier country to region it, and radiotherapy to halt it from returning.

It was astatine this constituent - earlier my attraction started - that the Princess of Wales announced her ain crab diagnosis. It was excessively raw. I had to debar the quality for a fewer days.

I received the chemotherapy done a cannula successful the backmost of my manus alongside astir half-a-dozen different patients successful a ward astatine the section infirmary successful Dumfries.

Sitting successful ample purple chairs, we are hooked up to a drip and supplied with an seemingly never-ending proviso of drinks, biscuits and adjacent offered a ft massage.

The process didn't wounded but it wasn't pleasant. The acold headdress - utilized to effort and prevention your hairsbreadth - near maine acold to the bone; immoderate of the medicine made maine sleepy.

By the extremity of my treatment, a sojourn to the chemo session was astir similar popping successful to spot friends - caring, no-nonsense friends who similar to instrumentality needles successful your veins.

They retrieve your kids' names, your job, your consciousness of humour, however you instrumentality your beverage - the worldly that truly matters erstwhile you're astatine your lowest ebb.

I had been assured by medics earlier chemo that the attraction "shouldn't beryllium horrendous" and I retrieve initially comparing the side-effects of my archetypal circular to a peculiarly atrocious hangover I erstwhile had successful Benidorm.

But erstwhile that goes connected for days, and you haven't the memories of a nighttime retired with friends to offset it, it rapidly go wearisome.

I suffered nausea, sickness, headache and past - due to the fact that of each the steroids I had to instrumentality - I couldn't slumber astatine nighttime contempt being bone-tired.

My bosom crab nurses had urged maine to interaction them oregon a nationalist crab helpline if I had immoderate problems. But my caput was playing tricks connected me. The side-effects were grim but were they horrendous? Was the headache worthy bothering them about? I was lone sick once, bash they truly request to know? Shouldn't I conscionable enactment up with it and fto the drugs bash their job?

And past successful the days that followed, arsenic the sickness eased but the tiredness refused to shift, I fell into a doom spiral. I disquieted astir my ain mortality, my family, the kids; I disquieted astir the adjacent circular of chemo.

A alteration to my anti-sickness medicine seemed to assistance with the nausea and the headaches by circular two. I turned to the section Macmillan Cancer Information and Support Centre for assistance with the debased mood.

But determination was small I could bash astir the fatigue.

I tried to get retired for a locomotion each time - caller aerial ever makes maine consciousness amended - but routes that I could tally circular successful 30 minutes conscionable a fewer weeks agone near maine exhausted.

Afternoon naps became the norm. I spent a batch of clip lying connected the sofa and watched much episodes of Married astatine First Sight Australia than I attraction to admit to.

But each time I'd bash a small spot much - possibly a heap of ironing; a supermarket shop; a java with a person - and by time 7 of the 14-day cycle, I was good capable to spell backmost to work. It was the distraction I needed.

Then my hairsbreadth started falling out. It's ever been rather abbreviated but it was inactive distressing to find clumps lying successful the shower, connected my pillow, wrong my hat.

I had it shaved disconnected but it started increasing backmost erstwhile I moved connected to a new, much manageable, little dose chemo cause astatine the extremity of July.

I've decided to clasp the GI Jane look and, to beryllium honest, I often hide astir it - astatine slightest until I glimpse myself successful the reflector oregon consciousness the acold aerial connected my scalp.

On apical of that, my consciousness of sensation changed; I person a chemoreceptor bleed each greeting (I anticipation that volition wide up soon); my digit nails are brittle; my eyes h2o successful the slightest breeze; my tegument looks similar it's aged astir 20 years.

But I cognize I'm fortunate - these are mild irritations. They didn't halt maine sitting sharing my daughter's glee astatine yet seeing Taylor Swift successful the soma astatine Wembley; oregon my son's joyousness astatine tumbling down immense soil dunes connected our household holiday.

The chemo has worked, the crab has shrunk. Like the Princess of Wales, however, I've inactive got a agelong mode to go. I person much attraction up of me.

Catherine released an affectional video of her household to denote the extremity of her chemo. This clip round, I recovered I didn't person to debar the news. I watched the film, work the analysis, empathised with her words.

It truly does marque you grateful for the elemental things successful life.

But it has besides helped maine admit the household and friends who person gone retired of their mode to assistance - driving maine to and from hospital, popping circular for a cuppa, filling my fridge with food, texting to cheque however I am.

Now I privation to marque plans - to get backmost to enactment full-time, to publication immoderate holidays, to truly marque the astir of this 2nd chance.