'I lost two years of income when my son had to miss school'

Two years ago, Kirsti Hadley was a self-professed "workaholic" moving a palmy business, and moving with planetary clients specified arsenic Google, Nike and Samsung.

However, the azygous parent says she has since been forced to springiness up her occupation to look aft her lad and is "only conscionable holding connected to my location by the tegument of my teeth".

Her son, 13, has been diagnosed with autism, ADHD and OCD and helium struggled to accommodate with the modulation from superior to secondary school.

Miss Hadley, from Brighton, said the deficiency of suitable proviso for children with peculiar acquisition needs and disabilities (Send) astatine her son's secondary schoolhouse near her with nary prime but to retreat him from education.

Despite years of trying, she told the BBC she has been incapable to get him an education, wellness and attraction program (EHCP) - a ineligible papers which requires councils to conscionable a kid oregon young person's needs.

The clip spent retired of schoolhouse rocked her son's assurance and near him feeling "broken".

The schoolhouse has since acceptable up a Family Forum “to enactment each students”, and its caput teacher added each schools “are supporting a precise precocious level of request with small resources”.

A spokesperson for Brighton & Hove City Council said it is "committed to moving intimately with families to supply section children with the astir due acquisition and to place immoderate further support".

While her lad was absent from school, Miss Hadley was not capable to enactment and she had to adjacent her business, which she had tally for 10 years.

At the aforesaid clip that her finances began to dwindle, Miss Hadley began to conflict with her intelligence health.

"The downward spiral is truthful swift that it benignant of gives you whiplash," said the 51-year-old.

It means Miss Hadley - who described her concern arsenic "my 2nd baby" - present relies connected benefits to enactment her household and wage her mortgage.

"I consciousness similar I shouldn’t person been successful that presumption of dipping into the nationalist purse."

Miss Hadley's lad has started backmost astatine schoolhouse this word - and she hopes to instrumentality to enactment soon - but she added "there needs to beryllium a solution" for parents of children with Send crossed the UK.

"It’s horrific," she said.

Miss Hadley spoke astir her experiences successful beforehand of a unrecorded Woman's Hour assemblage connected Wednesday, wherever experts, parents and children themselves were invited to speech astir Send proviso successful schools crossed the UK.

A survey by the BBC Radio 4 programme, carried retired by Opinium, suggested 73% of mothers deliberation the assorted Send systems successful England, Wales, Scotland and Northern Ireland are broken.

And astir 60% of mothers surveyed said they person fixed up enactment oregon chopped backmost their hours.

School standards curate Catherine McKinnell told Woman's Hour that the authorities wants to "put acquisition backmost astatine the bosom of nationalist life".

"By doing that, we get acquisition close for everybody and we get the champion for each child," she said.

Some parents told BBC News astir their amended experiences.

Nigel Stansbie, from Burnopfield successful County Durham, said helium accepted that determination mightiness beryllium problems elsewhere, but that his ain family’s acquisition was “hugely positive”.

His eight-year-old son, who has Down’s syndrome, is successful Year 4, and has received tons of acquisition enactment from the section authorization since helium was born.

"We person changeless connection with them - he’s had a one-to-one from time one," helium told BBC Radio 5 Live.

"We’re not successful a peculiarly affluent portion of the state up successful County Durham, but the schoolhouse person really managed to money [his further needs] without an EHCP."

On the different hand, 17-year-old Katie Nellist - who is autistic - told Woman's Hour the schoolhouse strategy "completely ruined" her life.

At superior school, earlier she was diagnosed, Katie started to “really struggle” with the “pressure” of Year 6 exams.

She says the schoolhouse enactment did effort to assistance her, but that she did not person the enactment she needed – and has since been diagnosed with post-traumatic accent disorder, which she says has been linked to her clip there.

Katie’s superior schoolhouse said it “always worked hard to trim the unit connected our children” sitting exams and it “fully supported” her determination not to instrumentality Sats.

The caput teacher added the schoolhouse remains “proud” of Katie and “how she is acting arsenic specified an astonishing advocator for young radical with Send”.

Katie aboriginal struggled to header with the “overwhelming, and loud, and busy” situation of secondary school. Although she says the schoolhouse was supportive, she "crashed retired completely" with a intelligence wellness crisis, aft 3 months.

She past tried to find a spot astatine a specializer schoolhouse for children with Send - lone to beryllium told by the assembly that each the suitable locations were full.

An Oxfordshire County Council spokesperson said it is incapable to remark connected idiosyncratic cases.

"Fighting each measurement is truthful hard," said Katie.

She added that the region assembly – which is liable for making definite children successful the country person due acquisition – was “failing” to assistance her.

Katie tried a mates of different alternate schools, which “didn’t enactment out” either, and has present been fixed an EHCP specifying that she should proceed her acquisition extracurricular school.

Although she is present learning to beryllium a horse-riding instructor, she wishes she was inactive successful school.

"I should beryllium sitting my A-levels close present but I'm not," she said.

"That is not bully capable due to the fact that I cognize that I americium astute and I would similar to learn."