Jan Mustafa: Finding my voice after mum's brutal murder

Speaking astatine a vigil to retrieve her murdered mother, "it feels similar I'm being heard for once," a teen says.

"I can't accidental I'm wholly good due to the fact that that's going to beryllium a lie."

The 15-year-old is the girl of Mihrican Mustafa, known arsenic Jan, who was murdered successful London successful 2018. Her assemblage was aboriginal recovered successful her killer's freezer adjacent to different of his victims.

At her family's request, the teen is remaining anonymous but they wanted BBC Newsbeat to archer her story.

Jan's loved ones are determined for her to permission a affirmative legacy.

Jan's girl is wearing a pinkish hoodie with a representation of her mum's smiling look connected it arsenic for the archetypal clip she shares the acquisition of her tragic loss.

Even though she was lone 11 erstwhile her mum was murdered, the teen says she has "so galore memories" of her.

"We utilized to creation successful our room, we utilized to formal up and we'd ticker fearfulness movies. That was our thing," she says.

"No 1 tin instrumentality that distant from us."

Jan was conscionable 38 erstwhile she died. She was susceptible and had fallen connected hard times erstwhile she met Zahid Younis, a enactment offender with a agelong past of unit against women.

They lived adjacent to each different and Jan could not person known erstwhile she spent clip astatine his level that she was conscionable metres distant from the assemblage of Henriett Szucs - whose assemblage had been stored successful a hidden freezer since 2016.

When constabulary made the find successful April 2019, Jan's assemblage was recovered alongside Henriett's.

"The mode she died was truly disturbing," Jan's girl tells Newsbeat. "I felt sick, physically sick."

Four years on, she inactive goes done large waves of emotion.

"One 2nd I'll beryllium like, 'at slightest she's successful a amended place', but past you spot different mums and daughters and it conscionable makes maine think, wow, I've ne'er had that," she says.

"I bash get a small spot aggravated due to the fact that she wasn't there," she adds. "But it's not her responsibility and it's not my fault."

As she leaves the signifier aft giving a code to the assemblage of much than 100 people, the teen is stopped and embraced by household aft family, each of whom person suffered akin losses.

"It's been precise comforting, due to the fact that determination are truthful galore radical astir maine that person been done akin things," she says.

"It gives maine strength. We're each inactive warring unneurotic and doing our best."

By speaking retired for the archetypal time, the teen hopes to springiness a dependable to "the children that can't talk up" astir their trauma.

Offering her ain advice, she says "don't blasted yourself".

"Take your clip [to heal] and if your room's a mess, fto it beryllium a mess."

Her ain betterment involves spending tons of clip successful her country listening to euphony but present she's turning her attraction to her future.

"I truly privation to beryllium a psychologist," she says. "I emotion helping people.

"I've experienced what I've experienced and I'll cognize however to speech to children decently and however to truly assistance them."

If you've been affected by the issues raised successful this article, assistance and enactment is disposable via BBC Action Line.

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