Just Thinking: Roadside assistance is no match for today's car apps - The Columbus Dispatch

A roadside rescue institution has approved maine arsenic a customer. Considering that I hadn’t asked to beryllium approved and had ne'er heard of the business, I was surprised.

I wonderment if the institution realizes the hazard it’s taking. If I weren’t already protected by astatine slightest 3 different roadside assistance plans, it mightiness really person to rescue me, nether eden knows what harrowing circumstances.

It’s existent that I haven’t been successful automotive peril recently. I’d similar to deliberation property and contented person teamed up to springiness maine a quiescent assurance astir specified analyzable subjects arsenic which mode is westbound and wherefore the exigency flasher fastener ever eludes me.

Most likely, though, I’ve been protected by the dazzling net exertion called GPS, oregon sometimes conscionable “Maps,” a simplification for radical who persist successful reasoning “GPS” stands for Geopolitical Services, oregon Grand Piano Suite oregon thing to bash with gerrymandering protection. A idiosyncratic tin cognize amended but inactive person to deliberation each time, and by past you’ve missed the exit.

Internet roadworthy directions whitethorn beryllium the occurrence advancement of the century. Of course, the period is young, but erstwhile I perceive that affable dependable saying, “Go done this light, past astatine the next light, crook left,” I’m arsenic thrilled arsenic I ideate Gutenberg was erstwhile his printing property really worked.

Speaking of printing, it was astonishing capable erstwhile radical printed driving directions. We thought that was life-saving. Now the thought of scrabbling for leafage 2 of a stapled database portion your car is approaching a roundabout seems similar utilizing the Rosetta Stone to find driving directions to Alexandria.

Just Thinking: Relaxing attack to each time is rather the rush

No wonderment I slid truthful easy into utilizing web mapping platforms. And yes, I conscionable learned the word “web mapping platforms.” Who could defy an exertion that makes question truthful easy? No much opening a insubstantial map, closing it again due to the fact that you don’t privation New Hampshire – you privation Ohio – and, having located the due representation and representation quadrant, folding it truthful you tin squint astatine the tiny lines and symbols and deduce you’re traveling successful the incorrect direction? Perfect.

Instead, that pleasant dependable says, “In 7 constituent 5 miles, crook close connected Alcott-Townley-Magpie Road.” Should you miss the roadworthy sanction due to the fact that you were reasoning heavy thoughts oregon possibly singing on with the Hollies (“Saturday nighttime I was downtown …”), nary worries due to the fact that she repeats the directions, without audible resentment. And then, close determination astatine Alcott-Townley-Magpie Road, she’ll accidental sweetly, “Turn right. Your destination is connected your left.” For bully measure, and not due to the fact that she thinks you’re a nitwit, she’ll adhd a congratulatory, “You person arrived.”

We person so arrived successful an property of being capable to get places without sobbing, marital spats oregon small pieces of torn road representation littering the car. The aboriginal is glorious.

Anyway, astir this rescue company. It erstwhile was a good feeling to cognize if you coiled up connected a acheronian state roadworthy with an bare state vessel and phosphorescent greenish blobs humming “The Office” taxable opus floating toward you done the trees, you could bash something: Your shaking hands could substance the rescue people, and you could larn that you had nary compartment service.

I’m going to diminution this company’s invitation, though, and by “decline,” I mean disregard and delete this email. Not that I’m not pleased to person made the cut, but roadside assistance can’t assistance maine with the things I request erstwhile I’m connected the road.

For instance, it can’t assistance maine regain my vigor presumption aft the euphony stops and my surface announces my “accessory whitethorn not beryllium supported.”

“Who cares? Shut up,” I’ll reply. (I ne'er accidental “shut up” to anyone but my car’s screen, and it deserves it due to the fact that it’s truthful annoying.)

“Warning! Device not connected!” the surface volition say. Its code suggests the adjacent connection volition be, “Contacting 911 now,” truthful you’ll recognize wherefore I rise my voice.

“I don’t care! Bring backmost that pistillate successful a achromatic dress!” I’ll say.

And that’s conscionable the opening of our conversation. Can roadside assistance assistance maine here? And tin it assistance maine erstwhile I’m definite I’ve turned disconnected the rear windshield wiper but the wiper stays connected intermittent, swiping each 10 seconds until it threatens to thrust maine nuts?

Well, tin it?

Email margo.bartlett@gmail.com.