Michelle Obama: Being kind to myself is a challenge

Michelle Obama has admitted she struggles with antagonistic thoughts astir her quality and her "fearful mind", but that women request to "learn to emotion ourselves arsenic we are".

In her caller book, the erstwhile US archetypal woman reveals she "hates however I look each the clip and nary substance what".

But she has recovered strategies to beryllium benignant to herself, she told BBC Breakfast.

She said: "I'm inactive a enactment successful advancement and facing myself each greeting with thing benignant is inactive a challenge."

She continued: "I effort each time to, arsenic I accidental successful the book, greet myself with a affirmative message.

"And it's truly a shame that truthful galore of us, peculiarly women, person a hard clip conscionable looking astatine our ain representation and not tearing it isolated and figuring retired what's wrong.

"I deliberation that's astatine the halfway of immoderate of our unease and unhappiness, due to the fact that if we don't commencement retired by learning to emotion ourselves arsenic we are, it's hard to walk that connected to others.

"So I americium moving connected it each azygous day."

Mrs Obama, 58, was successful the White House with hubby Barack betwixt 2009 and 2017.

In the lone UK interrogation for her publication The Light We Carry, BBC Breakfast's Naga Munchetty told her: "You are seen arsenic a powerhouse.

"You are seen arsenic this assured woman, this established woman, this astute woman... If you're feeling similar this, what anticipation bash the remainder of america have?"

Mrs Obama replied: "I deliberation that's the constituent of sharing it.

"We each person those thoughts, those antagonistic thoughts that we've lived with for years, particularly arsenic women and arsenic women of colour, wherever we don't spot ourselves reflected successful our society.

"I deliberation we're successful a amended position, but 1 of the things I talked astir was what it was similar increasing up, not conscionable arsenic a achromatic woman, but arsenic a gangly achromatic woman, earlier the Serena and Venus [Williams] years, earlier we had the WNBA [Women's National Basketball Association] and had relation models different than gymnasts to look up to.

"It is important for america to spot who we tin beryllium successful bid to consciousness bully astir ourselves."

She besides spoke astir the value of dealing with the "fear that people arises successful each of us".

"If you tin maestro your fear, if you tin go comfortably acrophobic - beryllium acrophobic of the things that tin really origin you danger, but beryllium unfastened to the things that tin propulsion you guardant - there's existent almighty maturation connected the different broadside of that feeling of fear.

"I tin accidental present that everything that I americium contiguous is the effect of maine pushing past my comfortableness zone, quieting my fearful caput and taking connected that situation that mightiness person different held maine back."

In the book, Mrs Obama reveals that the astir anxious she has been successful her beingness was erstwhile her hubby told her helium wanted to tally for president.

"It's unusual to deliberation I could person altered the people of past with my fear," she writes.

She told BBC Breakfast it was "absolutely worthy taking that leap of faith" and giving him her support.

"I lived done the bequest of excessively galore people, peculiarly African American people, my grandfathers included, whose lives were constricted by their fearfulness of thing different," she explained.

Her grandparents grew up astatine a clip erstwhile "there were existent fears that a achromatic antheral showing up successful the incorrect neighbourhood, astatine the incorrect time, successful the incorrect place, looking the incorrect way, could mean his death", she said.

"So with each passing year, I consciousness similar my grandfathers' satellite got smaller and smaller and smaller, some of them, to the constituent wherever they didn't spot anyone that they didn't know, not adjacent doctors. And that, with 1 of my grandparents, led him to miss a diagnosis of lung cancer.

"I usage that arsenic an illustration of however truthful galore of america are locked successful our sameness, acrophobic to conscionable oregon recognize anyone that doesn't look similar us, consciousness similar us, hold with us. That keeps our satellite tiny and it makes america susceptible to disinformation, conspiracy theories that we are confronted with.

"We commencement to fearfulness anyone who's not similar us. That's not a steadfast place. So I privation young radical successful peculiar to deliberation astir that jolt of fearfulness erstwhile they're confronted with it, to beryllium capable to separate betwixt the fearfulness that's going to support them safe, and the fearfulness that's going to support them stuck successful a tiny world."

She added that much and much radical "feel similar they don't substance connected this planet", and that it "still hurts" that Donald Trump took implicit from Barack Obama.

"That's that constituent successful clip erstwhile you person to inquire yourself, was it worthy it?" she said.

"Did we marque a dent? Did it matter? And erstwhile I'm successful my darkest moment, my astir irrational place, I could say, well, possibly not. Maybe we weren't bully enough.

"But past I look around, and erstwhile determination is much clarity, erstwhile I'm capable to unpack those feelings and deliberation much rationally, I think, well, my gosh, there's a full satellite of young radical who are reasoning otherwise astir themselves due to the fact that of the enactment that we've done.

"Did everything get fixed successful the 8 years that we were there? Absolutely not. That's not however alteration happens. But we laid a marker successful the sand. We pushed the instrumentality guardant a bit. But advancement isn't astir a dependable ascent upward. There are ups and downs and stagnation. That's the quality of change.

"And that's wherefore the enactment that we're doing contiguous is astir empowering the adjacent generation."

The mates present tally the Obama Foundation, whose ngo is to "inspire, empower and link radical to alteration their world".