Mystery over lost pen pal who fled Rwandan genocide

A pistillate whose puerility pen pal abruptly stopped penning aft fleeing the Rwanda genocide has written a caller to "exorcise the grief of not knowing what happened" to her.

Sophie Buchaillard's pen pal Victoria, 16, was separated from her parents portion fleeing the 1994 genocide successful which an estimated 800,000 radical were killed.

Victoria was staying astatine a exile campy successful Goma, Democratic Republic of the Congo.

The brace corresponded frequently, until 1 time Victoria wrote that she was being moved and would get backmost successful interaction arsenic soon arsenic she could.

"I ne'er heard back," said Sophie.

Sophie, who was surviving successful Paris and was besides 16 astatine the time, wrote to Victoria's teachers astatine the campy and was enactment successful interaction with a foundation successful Rwanda that reunites radical - but to nary avail.

At archetypal she feared she had offended her friend, but arsenic months turned into years she began to realise the precariousness of the concern her person had recovered herself in.

"Growing up it dawned connected maine that thing unspeakable whitethorn person happened, she mightiness person died oregon been killed, oregon each sorts of different things could person happened to her," said Sophie, who present lives successful Penarth, Vale of Glamorgan.

"It's lone erstwhile I started doing probe retrospectively that I understood the afloat standard of what beingness successful the campy indispensable person been."

In the '90s it was much communal for children to person pen pals from far-flung places, and the improbable relationship was forged erstwhile Sophie's schoolhouse enactment her successful interaction with Victoria.

Victoria wanted to beryllium a translator, truthful it was an accidental for her to correspond successful French.

"When we started to constitute I would person been cosy astatine location successful my parents' level successful Paris and she would person been successful the exile campy successful Goma. Our experiences couldn't person been much different," said Sophie.

She remembered Victoria said she was from the Kigali area, her begetter worked successful the section medication there, and earlier the genocide they had lived successful a location with a garden.

Sophie said contempt Victoria's horrific concern determination was a "strange normality" astir her letters and they wrote astir "normal 16-year-old things".

"She was much focused connected what beingness had been similar before, the beingness she would instrumentality to, and treating that infinitesimal successful the exile campy arsenic as a blip, arsenic a parenthesis extracurricular of normal," said Sophie.

She said her person ever came crossed arsenic precise calm.

"It occurred to maine aboriginal successful beingness that what I assumed was calmness was astir apt trauma. It would person been hard for her to process each of that astatine the time."

After the letters stopped, Sophie said she was acrophobic for her person but ne'er wholly gave up anticipation that she was okay.

"I ever hoped that she conscionable went backmost to her mean life... and that it was much desirable not to proceed to write," she said.

A mates of years aft her last missive from Victoria, Sophie went to university. Later she lived successful Spain and the US earlier coming to the UK arsenic a pupil successful 2001, getting joined and settling successful southbound Wales.

She ne'er forgot Victoria, and would find herself penning poems and abbreviated stories astir her friend.

"Writing has precise almighty cathartic abilities and makes it imaginable to entree the subconscious, I suppose," she said.

In her 40s, Sophie decided to permission her occupation astatine Cardiff University and survey a masters successful originative penning with the anticipation of becoming a writer.

She began penning and erstwhile again Victoria appeared connected her page.

This led her to walk 7 months researching Rwanda earlier penning her masters portfolio, which became the opening of her caller 'This is Not Who We Are'.

The caller follows the lives of 2 women, Iris from Paris and Victoria from Rwanda.

Twenty years aft their improbable pen pal correspondence comes to a abrupt end, Iris is moving arsenic a writer successful London and sets astir trying to find her pen friend.

"Part of it was trying to articulate beingness arsenic a migrant myself successful the UK astatine the clip of Brexit, and trying to find retired what happens erstwhile the state wherever you unrecorded tells you precise large and wide that you're not welcome," said Sophie.

It was besides astir trying to enactment done the nagging unanswered questions she had astir Victoria.

"Part of the workout for maine was a mode to possibly find retired what happened to Victoria," she said.

"It was a mode to exorcise the grief of not knowing what happened."

As soon arsenic the publication was published, Sophie sent 10 books to Kigali Genocide Memorial successful Rwanda successful the anticipation that idiosyncratic would work her publication and recognise the story.

"I'm of a hopeful nature, and I unrecorded successful anticipation that the penning of the publication someway volition interaction idiosyncratic who knows what happened to her."