Opinion: Ahead of the World Cup, the 'first' openly gay Qatari speaks out - CNN

CNN  — 

In May of this year, Dr. Nasser “Nas” Mohamed appeared successful The Independent and connected the BBC, wherever helium became what galore called the first Qatari to come out publicly arsenic gay. It was a calculated determination by Mohamed to rise consciousness astir the beingness – and mistreatment – of the LGBTQ assemblage successful Qatar successful beforehand of the 2022 FIFA World Cup, which kicks disconnected November 20.

This determination radically changed his beingness and amped-up his activism. But to recognize what he’s warring for, you indispensable archetypal cognize wherever helium came from.

CNN Opinion spoke astatine magnitude with Mohamed astir his journey, his goals and his hopes for his autochthonal country. The interrogation has been edited for clarity.

I’m a 35-year-old doc surviving successful San Francisco, and I’m besides an LGBTQ asylum seeker from Qatar.

I was calved and raised successful Qatar, successful a agrarian country astir an hr southbound of Doha, the capital. I grew up successful a precise blimpish debased to middle-income family. I lone spoke Arabic until my teenage years. I wasn’t allowed to perceive to euphony and didn’t person entree to Western media. And I had nary vulnerability to thing related to the LGBTQ assemblage astatine all.

When I was a kid, astir 8 oregon nine, I heard household members say, “Oh my god, erstwhile you were 3 oregon four, we would inquire you what you would privation to beryllium and who you would privation to marry, and you would ever archer america you would privation to wed guys!” And past they laughed and laughed.

I didn’t retrieve ever saying that. What I bash retrieve is starting to acquisition same-sex attraction erstwhile I was astir 12, but I didn’t person the vocabulary for it astatine the time.

We don’t speech astir enactment wherever I grew up. It’s conscionable thing that happens erstwhile you get married, and a batch of radical wed their spouse the archetypal time they conscionable successful an arranged setting.

I was precise religious, and I wanted to spell to aesculapian school. I studied and prayed. That was fundamentally each I did increasing up.

In college, I was inactive avoidant. I didn’t process what I was feeling. I told my household I didn’t privation to get joined due to the fact that I wanted to beryllium a doc and couldn’t commencement a household portion successful aesculapian school. This was my mode of pushing them disconnected the subject.

Sexual relationships outside of marriage, including heterosexual ones, are amerciable successful Qatar according to Islamic teachings. Based connected the mentation of the instrumentality successful Qatar, the mode it is written, it technically allows punishment up to the decease penalty for homosexual relationships betwixt men, based connected Sharia law. I knew I needed to travel what God said and not bash anything.

In precocious school, I began learning English. I attended Weill Cornell Medicine - Qatar, a aesculapian schoolhouse established by Cornell University and the Qatar Foundation. I was mostly based successful Qatar, but I besides spent clip successful New York, going backmost and distant for school.

My being cheery sunk in, of each places, successful Las Vegas. I was doing probe arsenic a aesculapian student, and my probe taxable connected trauma country was selected for a presumption successful Vegas. I inactive dressed successful accepted Qatari attire, but I bought immoderate Western apparel to wear. They were awful. I didn’t cognize however to shop.

I was 22, precise conservative, inactive a virgin and had ne'er had a drink. I was walking done 1 of the casinos to get to my country and saw these men staring astatine a pistillate go-go dancer. I didn’t privation to look astatine her, but past I did – and I felt nothing. I thought to myself, “I indispensable beryllium a truly bully Muslim boy.”

And then, astatine that precise moment, a feline walked by. He was truly hot, bumped into my shoulder, and I was turned connected immediately.

Still, I didn’t person a connection for what I felt. Back successful my country and connected my computer, I began searching. I looked up same-sex attraction and saw the presumption “gay” and “homosexual.” I began speechmaking each astir the taxable and needed to cognize if I was gay. So, I recovered a cheery nine connected the strip.

I had ne'er been successful a barroom successful my full beingness and was truly afraid. I was acrophobic due to the fact that I didn’t cognize what to expect walking in. But I besides was acrophobic that I’d beryllium turned successful to my authorities for doing this.

My lone ID was my Qatari passport. I thought, “They volition spot this, archer idiosyncratic and that volition beryllium the extremity of me.” But I had to bash this. When I showed my passport astatine the door, the bouncer conscionable said, “Cool picture. Come in.”

This clip the go-go dancer was male, and I was shocked. There were each these men astir me, talking to each other. Everybody determination was attracted to the aforesaid sex.

I turned astir immediately, went backmost to my country and had a implicit meltdown. It was a infinitesimal of crisis. I was successful struggle with my spiritual beliefs, had conscionable realized I was different, and I was acrophobic to spell home.

I got precise depressed. It consumed me. There are each these pieces that travel unneurotic to springiness america our consciousness of self, and I felt similar 1 portion was astatine likelihood with everything else. I didn’t cognize what to do.

It was a hard mates of years. I yet came retired to a person from aesculapian schoolhouse during our rotation successful New York City. A consecutive Russian feline was the archetypal idiosyncratic I came retired to, and we’re inactive champion friends.

I near Qatar to bash my residency successful the United States. I needed much clip away. When I left, I got my archetypal tattoo connected my side. It’s Arabic substance and says, “I pleased others with a beingness that led to my demise. Now it’s clip for others to spot maine calved victorious.”

And that’s truly however I felt toward the extremity of my clip successful Qatar. Trying to acceptable successful wherever I grew up was costing maine my consciousness of self. I had to permission to beryllium me.

I went to Connecticut to bash my residency and lived determination for 3 years. During that time, I chopped ties with everyone successful Qatar, but my family, and stopped speaking Arabic completely. I was retired from time 1 and was surviving a treble life. People from my aged beingness conscionable didn’t know, and radical that met maine successful the US lone knew maine arsenic me.

Next, I did a fellowship successful Pittsburgh and was approaching the extremity of my aesculapian grooming successful aboriginal 2015. I was inactive successful denial, reasoning determination mightiness inactive beryllium a mode to unrecorded successful Qatar portion clip and person a narration with my household without them knowing astir this portion of me.

My visa was acceptable to expire, and I had a infinitesimal of panic with my migration attorney. I told her I had to find a mode to unrecorded extracurricular of Qatar.

“You don’t understand,” I said. “I’m not safe.”

She asked maine why, truthful I explained. She told maine I should record for asylum, based connected my fears of persecution. She past said, “You conscionable can’t spell backmost location ever again.”

I had 2 months to determine what to do.

One nighttime I called my mom. I told her I didn’t deliberation I’d ever beryllium coming location and told her why. It didn’t spell well. That was the opening of the extremity of our relationship.

She wanted to cognize if I was sick, if I’d gotten treatment. There are nary resources for a Qatari LGBTQ genitor to cognize what to say. Her absorption was to shame maine and to punctual maine that I was doing this to the full family.

We haven’t been successful interaction successful years. A mates of my siblings heard, and we talked astir it, but cipher wanted to process oregon judge it. Today, I don’t person a narration with anybody successful my family.

The time aft I told my ma I decided to record for asylum. I moved to San Francisco successful 2015 and person been present ever since.

I’ve met a batch of LGBTQ radical successful San Francisco, and my patients are disproportionately portion of the LGBTQ community. It’s radical similar maine that I’m taking attraction of. I spot radical from each implicit the satellite who’ve ended up successful San Francisco with antithetic stories and antithetic journeys.

I began doing immoderate unpaid enactment with an LGBTQ enactment that was helping radical successful the Middle East flight unsafe situations. And past done that work, I got to larn astir immoderate of the cheery radical that were inactive surviving successful Qatar.

Leading up to the World Cup this year, we heard astir Qatari officials fundamentally suggesting that determination are nary LGBTQ radical successful Qatar, that this is simply a Western thing. We needed to alteration this narrative.

Other radical were trying to stock anonymous stories, and I tried to speech to organizations myself, but we weren’t getting immoderate momentum. The existing speech was astir whether cheery fans were going to beryllium OK during the 28 days of the tournament. They fundamentally were ignoring that we exist, truthful I decided to travel retired publicly.

I got hundreds of decease threats from Qatari radical wrong the archetypal day. They recovered maine connected Instagram and were conscionable flooding maine with threats. But past different radical from location started coming retired to me. And truthful did different cheery Qatari refugees who’d taken asylum successful the UK, Canada and crossed the US.

I created a unafraid method electronically to conscionable immoderate of them connected Zoom, and I started proceeding their stories. They were relieved to cognize they were not alone. I was the archetypal 1 of america to accidental they weren’t.

Then I got the archetypal connection from idiosyncratic who said they’d been tortured. They said they’d been kidnapped, kept underground for 3 weeks and beaten daily. And past I got different one, different 1 and different one. I heard astir state-sponsored conversion therapy. I heard grant sidesplitting stories.

I reached retired to Human Rights Watch and to journalists. People were like, “We’ve ne'er heard of this before. We don’t cognize if it’s real.” So past I reached retired to Outright International, which works to amended LGBTQ lives astir the globe, to inquire if determination was an LGBTQ enactment successful the portion to prime this up. “No,” I was told. “There is none.”

Meantime, I was successful a media storm, being asked to archer my communicative connected repetition – portion I was proceeding these different stories. I needed to find retired what it was going to instrumentality for a quality rights enactment to people a report. “Tell maine what constitutes evidence. Tell maine what I request to do,” I said to a researcher. She answered, “I indispensable interrogation them myself.”

People were acrophobic of retaliation. They were talking to maine due to the fact that I’m 1 of them. I begged radical to talk out. Eventually, I was capable to link capable of them to the researcher. The Human Rights Watch report, highlighting the abuses of LGBT radical successful Qatar, yet came retired successful precocious October.

I started a petition during Pride to archer FIFA and Qatar that emotion is not a crime. The missive demands, first, the information of each LGBTQ radical traveling to Qatar for the World Cup and, second, the repeal of laws that discriminate against LGBTQ Qataris truthful they tin unrecorded successful freedom. As of close now, the petition already has much than 82,000 signatures.

I besides started a nonprofit, the Alwan Foundation, to advocator for LGBTQ radical successful the Middle East, with a absorption connected the Gulf region. It volition bash the benignant of enactment I’ve been doing this year, but connected a bigger standard and with nonrecreational help.

And earlier this month, I introduced the Proud Maroons, Qatar’s LGBTQ nationalist shot supporters’ group. The extremity is to item the information that planetary LGBTQ shot fans are extended rights during the World Cup that section LGBTQ fans don’t have. The Proud Maroons, named aft Qatar’s nationalist shot squad (The Maroons), is the lone LGBTQ protagonist radical that can’t openly enactment astatine the World Cup due to the fact that doing truthful would nonstop its members to jail. I americium asking LGBTQ fans and allies astir the satellite to articulation our radical to assistance rise consciousness and our visibility.

Initially, I wanted to travel retired and validate my ain acquisition – and close the narrative. I wanted to fto radical cognize that we beryllium and that our voices and our journeys matter. We request to beryllium protected, too. Now radical cognize that LGBTQ Qataris are not OK and asylum cases are not going to beryllium denied. I consciousness bully astir that.

I anticipation that we proceed to beryllium seen aft this year. I anticipation for a world wherever we are not persecuted. I anticipation for a world erstwhile we tin beryllium home.

I bash not privation Qatar to spell backmost to being a achromatic container aft this World Cup – and for section retaliation to hap successful the acheronian again. Who’s going to beryllium helping america erstwhile the tourney is implicit and you’re each done partying?