'Our son is getting stronger and I'm not sure we're ready'

“I’m expected to beryllium her protector but I’m besides expected to beryllium his protector and erstwhile you’re caught successful the middle, what bash you do?

For the dads of children with terrible learning difficulties, beingness tin often bring a batch of challenges.

BBC Spotlight has spoken to 4 dads of boys who each person a diagnosis of autism and a terrible learning disablement that tin pb to upsetting and harmful behaviour to themselves and others.

They go bodyguards and protectors and successful galore cases look carnal harm, and person called for much enactment and respite.

Séamus Flannigan is dada to 16-year-old Eoin.

“I could beryllium retired of the country and the adjacent 2nd I’m being called by my girl oregon my woman due to the fact that he’s kicked disconnected again. You person to enactment yourself physically betwixt him and them and get them retired of the road," Mr Flannigan said.

“You deliberation okay, astatine slightest I’m capable to woody with this and it’s not my woman and it’s not my girl that are getting hurt. But past you realise that they can't beryllium connected their ain with him," helium said.

“ They can't walk that prime clip without idiosyncratic being determination arsenic a bodyguard.”

One of the astir touching scenes successful the movie is erstwhile the household are successful a hydrotherapy excavation with Eoin. The enslaved betwixt begetter and lad is clear.

“It’s truthful simple, conscionable splashing astir successful the water, playing with the waves pushing against you, helium conscionable loves that and helium loves you to beryllium determination with him.”

Those moments are what each 4 dads telephone the "small wins".

Frank Tipping’s 11-year-old lad Theo tin person large trouble controlling his emotions, but determination is different broadside to him.

“He is simply a gorgeous child. He is affectionate, helium is warm. You tin spot helium wants to beryllium everywhere," Mr Tipping said.

“You tin spot him struggling to fig things out, but it’s precise hard for him and it’s precise hard for america to recognize what precisely it is that helium needs.”

And it is those moments of conflict that tin often escalate into distressed behaviour.

In the film, Mr Tipping often intervenes betwixt Theo and his woman Julie, shielding her from the much harmful outcomes of Theo’s distress.

“Ultimately, you’re approaching a concern successful which you could get hurt, you know, and that’s truly hard to contemplate," Mr Tipping said.

“He’s getting bigger and stronger and I’m not definite we’re acceptable for that.”

Mr Tipping admits helium feels precise blameworthy discussing Theo’s hard episodes.

“It’s not Theo’s fault. Theo is simply a large kid, he’s a godsend, he’s a blessing," helium said.

“ But I consciousness each clip we articulate the occupation it feels similar betraying him.”

John Bell’s 15-year-old lad Rudy is beardown and his outbursts person resulted successful aggregate injuries.

In the movie Rudy bites and scratches his father's hands during an outburst arsenic Mr Bell is trying to de-escalate things.

“My hands are inactive achromatic and bluish and that was 5 oregon six weeks ago. And it’s hard due to the fact that you don’t privation him to wounded you oregon different people. Or himself. When Rudy gets you helium gets you good, you tin truly consciousness it," helium said.

Mr Bell said helium and his woman Carly felt taking portion successful the movie was a past edifice - they wanted to amusement the world and however they are struggling.

“When radical spot this and professionals mightiness spot it, they mightiness spot what maine and my household are going through," helium said.

“We’re physically drained, mentally drained. I’m inactive trying to clasp down a occupation but I’ve had to driblet it down to 2 days.”

Social services person assessed each 4 boys should beryllium getting regular overnight respite. That is wherever the children would spell to a wellness spot installation and the families would get a break.

There are nary spaces presently disposable successful the Belfast and South Eastern Trust.

Mr Bell said respite was invaluable.

“It made a hellhole of a quality to everybody successful the family. I mean everybody. Because you were getting a furniture for the night, you were getting a slumber for the night."

Mr Bell has had aesculapian issues this twelvemonth including precise precocious humor pressure: “It’s got to the signifier wherever I’m moving connected empty.”

Danny Miller’s dada Steven has changed jobs to beryllium capable to walk much clip astatine home.

“I utilized to beryllium a mechanic and present I enactment for the Roads Service and mislaid astir fractional my wages," Mr Miller said.

“That’s thing I’ve had to bash to enactment my family.”

His woman Claire suffers rather important injuries connected a regular basis.

“I’m watching him attacking her and there’s not truly thing I tin do," helium said.

“I’m expected to beryllium her protector but I’m besides expected to beryllium his protector and you’re caught successful the mediate what bash you do?

“A batch of the clip we’re lying connected the level trying to support him from banging his caput connected the floor."

Mr Miller says helium is devoted to his lad and believes regular respite would assistance the full family.

The South Eastern Health Trust who look aft Danny and Rudy’s attraction said it would not remark connected their cases.

It said it understood the unit connected families but it could not connection respite due to the fact that beds were being utilized by children who request semipermanent placement.

It added that it hoped aboriginal backing would beryllium made available.

The Belfast Health Trust who are liable for Eoin and Theo’s attraction said it was precise atrocious that it was incapable to connection overnight breaks, but that the Trust was exploring ways of reintroducing them.

Health Minister Mike Nesbitt said the existent concern was unsustainable, adding that helium was determined to spot "urgent improvements".