Parenting Hell: Beckett and Widdicombe podcast 'redressing the balance'

In April 2020, during the aboriginal stages of the Covid-19 pandemic, comedians Rob Beckett and Josh Widdicombe launched Lockdown Parenting Hell - a podcast which precise overmuch did what it said connected the tin.

With schools closed and the aboriginal uncertain, it was an outlet for the 2 hosts and their listeners to vent vexation astir the difficulties of being stuck astatine location with young children.

The huge, contiguous occurrence of the podcast took adjacent its 2 presenters somewhat by surprise. Two-and-a-half years since its launch, it tin inactive beryllium recovered regularly sitting astatine the apical of the charts. The information that 1 of the astir fashionable podcasts successful the UK consists of 2 men talking astir fatherhood has not gone unnoticed.

"There are tons of stereotypes that situation parenting," Widdicombe tells BBC News. "And 1 of them is the dada that conscionable wants to spell retired with his mates and play play astatine the play and stuff.

"And it's like, portion we kick astir parenting, what I'd truly anticipation comes crossed is that we consciousness truly passionately astir wanting to walk a batch of our clip doing it, and doing it well. And truthful we're complaining from a constituent of loving it, and uncovering it hard due to the fact that we're throwing ourselves into it."

Parenting Hell (which yet mislaid the "Lockdown" from its title) is an engaging listen. The pair's chemistry is entertaining, and guests specified arsenic user campaigner Martin Lewis and writer Philippa Perry connection applicable proposal arsenic good arsenic their ain anecdotes astir parenting.

"It's bully to beryllium capable to speech astir [parenting], and person different radical admit it," reflects Beckett. "And besides judge that, I emotion my kids to pieces and effort my best, but sometimes I'm rubbish astatine it. And that's life. And if you don't judge you're rubbish astatine it sometimes, you'll ne'er get better."

Beckett and Widdicombe are astir to people their archetypal associated publication - a companion to the podcast - which features mostly caller material. "We realised due to the fact that we started a podcast erstwhile our kids were three, I had similar 3 years of stories and anecdotes which person ne'er been connected the podcast," Beckett notes.

Even if you've ne'er listened to it, you volition recognise some Beckett and Widdicombe if you've watched beauteous overmuch immoderate drama sheet amusement successful the past decade. And yet, it is the podcast which is progressively becoming the happening each of them is champion known for.

"All we did was beryllium honest, and it was benignant of a occurrence by accident," says Beckett. "I deliberation it's refreshing to perceive 2 blokes talking astir however they feel."

But Anita Cleare, parenting manager and writer of The Work/Parent Switch, cautions that, nevertheless fashionable the podcast is, it's arguably being judged by antithetic standards due to the fact that of its hosts.

"It doesn't astonishment maine to spot 2 men truthful palmy successful the parenting space. Dads person overmuch little unit connected them to beryllium cleanable parents," she tells BBC News.

"Coming from a presumption wherever men traditionally had rather a constricted relation successful childcare, we thin to observe today's much hands-on and engaged dads whereas mums are conscionable expected to beryllium that way."

She adds: "The unit connected mums to bash it each is immense. Many mums consciousness judged if they inquire for assistance oregon admit that they are uncovering parenting hard oregon that they don't ever bask being with their children.

"Dads are coming from a trajectory of antecedently precise debased expectations. That brings a definite state to speech astir parenting successful antithetic ways, to beryllium truly honorable astir the struggles, to find the humour and subvert conventions."

Beckett suggests that portion of the entreaty for pistillate listeners could prevarication successful getting an penetration into their partner's psyche. "I think, sometimes, the mums that perceive mightiness beryllium a spot like, 'oh, possibly that's wherefore he's acted similar that'. So it's a spot similar you get to perceive the different broadside of it, which is ever interesting," helium says.

"You know, I'm an Arsenal fan. If Tottenham lose, I emotion listening to a Tottenham podcast, to perceive them upset," helium jokes. "Arsenal Fan TV is watched by each the distant fans alternatively than the Arsenal fans!"

The podcast's occurrence implies determination was a spread successful the market, but Widdicombe says: "It wasn't a spread we spotted. If determination was a gap, we fluked upon it... I don't deliberation we initially acceptable retired to alteration immoderate attitudes. So if we person that's a truly bully thing."

Parenting Hell has boosted the illustration of some hosts individually. Recently, for example, Beckett has been doing much unrecorded broadcasting, with a play amusement connected BBC Radio 2.

"I emotion doing unrecorded radio, I deliberation it's rather a antithetic accomplishment to podcasting," helium says. "You're decently live, you tin get radical connected the phone, and it's conscionable happening successful that moment. And immoderate you say, that's it, there's nary edit. And I've truly enjoyed the slot."

His appointment, however, was somewhat controversial, arsenic Radio 2 bosses chopped the fig of shows hosted by Paul O'Grady to marque country for Beckett successful the schedule. O'Grady yet near the station, telling fans helium was unhappy with the arrangement.

"Paul O'Grady is an implicit fable and leader of mine, I emotion Paul O'Grady," Beckett says. "It's a shame that helium doesn't privation to bash it anymore. That's up to him, that's his decision, but yeah, I was truly blessed to get the opportunity. If idiosyncratic says to you, 'do you privation to big a amusement connected Radio 2?' and your occupation is simply a broadcaster, you accidental yes. The remainder of it's not up to me, I conscionable crook up and springiness it a bully go."

But immoderate the different projects Beckett and Widdicombe are moving on, the podcast is arguably present the biggest amusement either of them is attached to. Both are pleased to person been praised for realistic portrayals of parenting.

"There are each these taste pressures that situation parenting, whether it beryllium breastfeeding, surface time, whether your kid is potty trained, oregon whether you're utilizing a play with them to thatch them pottery and enactment connected Instagram," Widdicombe says.

"I'm not saying these things shouldn't exist, and these things shouldn't beryllium retired there. But possibly we're redressing the equilibrium a spot connected radical showing that they've got a cleanable beingness for their children."

The brace marque airy of the information that they aren't parenting experts with a enactment connected the book's screen which reads: "100% nary proposal guaranteed."

It's a sentiment echoed by Cleare. "Rob and Josh are precise wide that they're conscionable telling it however it happens successful their lives and they're incredibly funny," she says. "But if you are looking for parenting advice, I would punctual parents to take sources of accusation that are based connected probe and objective evidence."

The publication is intended arsenic a mostly light-hearted read, but determination is nary shying distant from superior subjects. At 1 point, Widdicombe writes movingly astir the clip helium and his woman Rose experienced a miscarriage.

"I don't deliberation there's immoderate work to constitute astir that oregon a feeling that you person to talk about, due to the fact that I deliberation each their own," helium says. "But I conscionable truly wanted to accidental what that acquisition was like, due to the fact that I deliberation it's thing that's not talked astir capable for you to realise however prevalent it is." (It's estimated 1 successful 4 pregnancies successful the UK extremity successful miscarriage.)

"Everything's antithetic for everyone. So each you tin bash is constitute astir your ain experience, honestly. And hopefully radical volition respond to that."

Parenting Hell The Book by Rob Beckett and Josh Widdicombe is released connected Thursday. The brace volition look astatine the Southbank Centre's London Literature Festival connected 30 October.