November 13, 2022 | 10:00am
Paulina Porizkova wanted to dice successful the aftermath of her estranged hubby Ric Ocasek’s death.
“I mean, however galore radical wouldn’t [think astir it], you know?” the model, 57, tells Page Six exclusively successful an interrogation promoting her upcoming publication of essays, “No Filter: The Good, the Bad and the Beautiful.”
“It’s not adjacent truthful overmuch that I thought astir however to termination myself oregon erstwhile to termination myself; it was conscionable that feeling of, ‘I conscionable don’t cognize however to spell on. I can’t bash this anymore. … I conscionable privation to spell away. I can’t carnivore waking up time morning, being the aforesaid idiosyncratic with the aforesaid feelings. I can’t transportation it anymore.'”
Porizkova discovered Ocasek’s body successful September 2019 portion bringing him java arsenic the Cars frontman recovered from a caller country successful their Gramercy Park townhouse. He was 75.
Although the mates had been separated for 2 years and were in the process of divorcing, they inactive lived with their sons, Jonathan and Oliver, present 29 and 24, respectively, and shared meals together.
Paulina Porizkova opens up astir her matrimony to Ric Ocasek and its aftermath successful her publication "No Filter."
Getty Images For The Rock and Ro
Paulina Porizkova opens up astir her matrimony to Ric Ocasek and its aftermath successful her publication "No Filter."
Ron Galella Collection via Getty
Paulina Porizkova opens up astir her matrimony to Ric Ocasek and its aftermath successful her publication "No Filter."
Getty Images
Days later, Porizkova learned that Ocasek had cut her retired of his will, claiming she had “abandoned” him.
“I person made nary proviso for my woman Paulina Porizkova … arsenic we are successful the process of divorcing,” the rocker wrote successful his past wishes.
“Even if I should dice earlier our divorcement is last … Paulina is not entitled to immoderate elective stock … due to the fact that she has abandoned me.”
The brace announced their separation successful May 2018 aft 28 years of marriage.
The brace met successful 1984 portion filming the euphony video for The Cars’ deed opus “Drive.” Porizkova was conscionable 19, and Ocasek was a 40-year-old joined begetter of four.
Looking back, the erstwhile Sports Illustrated Swimsuit screen miss calls the volition exclusion, which was settled successful October 2021, “vindictive.”
“It was really, truly hard due to the fact that obviously, archetypal of all, you’re grieving a idiosyncratic that has been your full life, the astir important idiosyncratic successful your beingness … determination was truthful overmuch symptom conscionable stacked up connected apical of each different … and past this betrayal was a lot,” she tells us.
The “Anna” histrion shares that she doesn’t adjacent retrieve the archetypal twelvemonth aft Ocasek’s death.
“I retrieve feeling benignant of numb for a definite magnitude of clip and past sliding into anger,” she recalls. “And then, for me, it wasn’t like, ‘I emotion him, I hatred him, I emotion him, I hatred him.’ It was much like, ‘You know, I miss him, but look what helium did, too.’ Like, however tin I miss a antheral who did this to me? I mean, I inactive miss him similar that. You can’t erase parts of your full life. It was complicated, and it volition astir apt stay analyzable for the remainder of my life.”
Porizkova says she’s made bid with Ocasek’s ineligible betrayal by “focusing connected gratitude” and each the fantastic times they shared, theorizing that “part of his vindictiveness was that helium inactive cared.”