Warning: This communicative contains descriptions of termination and acts of violence
Holding his chin successful his manus and staring into the distance, a probation serviceman tells maine however helium planned to extremity his life.
"I started to hole however I was going to bash it," helium says. "I needed to get retired of this enactment concern - I'd been doing the occupation for truthful agelong and it had got adjacent busier and chaotic. I conscionable couldn't header and I needed an exit."
His look is expressionless and his dependable is solemn.
Thinking astir his household stopped him from going up - but helium says panic attacks person go a regular occurrence due to the fact that of his expanding workload.
"It happens 3 oregon 4 times a week," helium tells me. "Waves of nausea, bosom racing, profuse sweating, and I aftermath up successful the nighttime thinking: 'Have I missed thing astatine enactment that could pb to idiosyncratic getting hurt?'
"This is nary mode to live."
This isn't an isolated lawsuit - the National Association of Probation Officers (NAPO), which represents thousands of probation officers successful England and Wales, says its members are "burning retired owed to the relentlessly precocious workloads".
Probation officers supervise offenders aft situation sentences and cheque they travel different presumption of their release, specified arsenic sticking to curfews and not taking drugs. They besides assistance erstwhile prisoners with housing, employment and entree to benefits, and support the nationalist by assessing the hazard of further offending.
In its 2022/2023 yearly report, the probation watchdog assessed astir of the probation work was moving beyond its capacity.
The probation caseload - that's the fig of erstwhile offenders unit are attending to - was 238,646 astatine the extremity of June 2024. That fig is somewhat higher than successful 2023, erstwhile it was 238,264. Probation officers whitethorn person aggregate appointments with each person.
Since the HM Inspectorate of Probation study was published and those caseload figures were captured, probation officers' workloads person accrued importantly - due to the fact that the government released much than 2,000 offenders aboriginal from prisons successful England and Wales to woody with overcrowding.
The justness caput said this had prevented the penal strategy from reaching maximum capacity, and "a full breakdown of instrumentality and order".
More reporting from prisons
"We utilized to person astir 8 appointments a time - immoderate with radical of precocious risk," the probation serviceman explains, "but that's gone up to 12 appointments - colleagues are crying astatine their desks arsenic it's excessively much."
Appointments tin impact a probation serviceman and offender discussing the rules of the probation, the dates and times of aboriginal appointments, and occupation and grooming opportunities. Some offenders are superior criminals who necessitate adjacent and regular monitoring, and if probation officers are overworked they mightiness miss opportunities to forestall them reoffending.
The murder of Zara Aleena successful eastbound London successful 2022 was partially blamed connected mistakes made by probation staff. Her killer, Jordan McSweeney, attacked Ms Aleena 9 days aft his merchandise connected licence from prison. The portion liable for supervising him had staffing levels of conscionable 61%.
The probation serviceman tells maine astir a erstwhile captive who should person been visited by a probation serviceman but wasn't - and past went connected to stab someone.
"That's what we're dealing with," helium says. "It's not our fault, we can't bash it all.
"And past we person to unrecorded with feelings of guilt."
The authorities said it would enlistee 1,000 caller officers by March 2025 to assistance with the further duties, but critics reason it takes astatine slightest a twelvemonth to bid a probation officer. Staff accidental it volition instrumentality clip earlier further unit marque immoderate difference.
"It's not similar we're going to person these other unit present up and moving which is what we want," different probation officer, who's been moving successful the assemblage for respective years, says.
"There's not a time that passes wherever I don't deliberation astir quitting. We're facing excessive workloads and mediocre wage - each of which person led to entrenched problems of unit retention and sickness rates successful important roles."
Sickness levels among probation officers person gone up nationally. In the twelvemonth to September 2024, HMPSS unit each mislaid an mean of 11.4 moving days to sickness lack - an summation from 11.2 mean moving days mislaid for the twelvemonth ending 31 March 2024.
Senior probation unit assertion astatine slightest 75% of that sickness is down to stress.
The work is besides facing a important shortfall successful staff. Last year's yearly study from HM Inspectorate of Probation cited "chronic under-staffing" and the "knock-on interaction connected workloads" arsenic cardinal issues of concern.
There are 20,652 full-time probation unit successful England and Wales - an summation of 103 connected the erstwhile year.
His Majesty's Prison and Probation Service (HMPPS) says 790 probation officers near the work successful England and Wales implicit the past twelvemonth (to the extremity of Sept 2024). This is simply a flimsy alteration (0.8%) compared to the erstwhile year.
"My intelligence wellness is simply a mess. I'm getting upset stomachs and feeling drained each the time. It's my occupation and its affecting my health," the 2nd probation officers says. "I get wherefore radical are leaving - I would if I didn't person a owe and bills."
Recent inspectorate reports into probation services successful assorted parts of the state besides marque for grim speechmaking - with galore identifying staffing to beryllium an issue.
In November, the Bradford and Calderdale Probation Delivery Unit successful West Yorkshire was assessed by the Inspectorate to beryllium "inadequate", and astatine hazard of not protecting the nationalist from harm due to the fact that of "large gaps successful staffing".
Martin Jones, main inspector of probation, says he's profoundly acrophobic informing signs could beryllium missed due to the fact that of the excessive workload.
"The much unit probation officers are under, they whitethorn miss things going wrong, truthful - of people - I'm acutely disquieted astir that.
"What you're seeing is simply a work nether immense pressure. My appraisal is the probation work has excessively fewer staff, with excessively small experience, managing excessively galore cases. Is that truly sustainable for the agelong term?"
Inside Britain's Prison Crisis
A Ministry of Justice spokesperson told the BBC the caller authorities inherited a situation strategy successful "crisis", and it had been "forced into taking hard but indispensable enactment truthful it tin support locking up unsafe criminals and support the public".
"This included replacing the past Government's aboriginal merchandise strategy with 1 that gives probation unit much clip to hole for a prisoner's merchandise and with caller protections successful narration to home maltreatment offences."