Sexy Instagram selfies and sexts: Are they empowering or desperate? - USA TODAY

If we are being honest, astir of america person snapped a selfie oregon 2 wherever we thought we looked attractive, if not sexy. And many of america person sent a seductive picture oregon posted 1 online – smiling arsenic the recipient texts backmost with excitement oregon arsenic the fig of likes grows. 

When you spot idiosyncratic stock a racy selfie, what is the archetypal thought that comes to mind? Do you justice them? Envy them? Pity them?

I was precocious asked an absorbing question: "Are sexy selfies empowering oregon desperate?"

What bash you think?

Here are immoderate things to consider:

Why are you taking that sexy reflector selfie?

It's not truthful overmuch the enactment that matters successful this concern but alternatively the motivation. The precise aforesaid enactment – taking a sexy selfie – can make antithetic feelings oregon outcomes for idiosyncratic depending connected their motivation. 

So, inquire yourself: Why bash I privation to instrumentality this picture? Maybe you privation to instrumentality a sexy representation to seizure however beauteous oregon almighty you feel. Perhaps you truly similar a definite space oregon pose, and it makes you consciousness grateful for the assemblage you have. Maybe you instrumentality pictures arsenic a signifier of self-expression and arsenic a mode of claiming your sexuality. Perhaps you privation to nonstop it to idiosyncratic arsenic foreplay.  

Have you been reasoning astir foreplay each wrong? Here's what you whitethorn beryllium missing.

Or do you privation to instrumentality a representation to station connected societal media and punctual the idiosyncratic who ghosted you weeks agone that you're inactive here? Maybe you're hoping your ex volition regret breaking up with you. Maybe you're trying to enactment relevant in the existent dating climate.  

Whatever your crushed for taking, uploading or sending a sexy representation whitethorn be, analyse what it says astir your narration with yourself and those astir you. Once you person your answer, bespeak if that makes you consciousness hopeless oregon empowered. 

Are you looking for enactment oregon intimacy? There's a difference.

What does sexy mean to you? 

Is it cringy, "try hard" oregon uncomfortable? Do you consciousness you are degrading yourself whenever you thin into your sensuality? Do you observe your body? Do you deliberation being sexy is ineffable and should lone beryllium shared with 1 idiosyncratic successful a peculiar context? 

Your reply volition dictate your actions and thrust your feelings astir those actions.

What bash you anticipation the effect volition be? 

Every enactment has a consequence. So what bash you anticipation volition beryllium the effect oregon interaction of your taking oregon sharing an intimate selfie? How realistic is it that the enactment volition elicit the desired response? 

More: What does it mean if my spouse is looking astatine racy pictures connected societal media?

I often perceive the statement that we “shouldn’t” beryllium seeking outer validation, admiration or praise, but the world is that these are mean things to want. It’s mean to privation to beryllium acknowledged and celebrated. The existent question is: Is this the champion mode to get those things, and however volition you consciousness if you don't execute them?

If your representation does not springiness you what you want, volition you blasted oregon shame your body? Will your self-esteem instrumentality a hit? If yes, is the hazard worthy it? 

Should you stock racy pictures successful your dating profile?

Having a sexy representation successful your dating illustration oregon connected your social media doesn't marque you hopeless unless that's however you felt erstwhile posting it. We person shamed radical for leaning into their sexuality for acold excessively long, but the lone existent information I spot is believing that being sexy is all we tin connection – the information lies successful reducing ourselves to immoderate one facet of who we are.

More: If you support dating the incorrect person, it's clip to look astatine yourself.

How bash your intimate photos marque you feel?

A bully mode to gauge however you consciousness astir seductive selfies is to measure your feelings aft taking 1 oregon seeing one. Is determination a quality depending connected which broadside of the camera you are connected oregon who is successful the picture?

We tin consciousness empowered oregon hopeless by taking a sexy selfie; it each depends connected our mindset. And, others tin comprehend our pictures arsenic empowering oregon hopeless depending connected their mindset. 

How you comprehend yourself matters. And however you take to stock who you are with the satellite is up to you – aft all, a representation is worthy a 1000 words. 

Sara Kuburic is simply a therapist who specializes successful identity, relationships and motivation trauma. Every week she shares her proposal with our readers. Find her connected Instagram @millennial.therapist. She tin beryllium reached astatine SKuburic@gannett.com.