Shaunagh Brown column: 'It's scary when retirement thoughts creep in'

Preparing for a World Cup semi-final with England is astir arsenic intensely focused arsenic it gets, but determination is 1 thought that has been creeping into my caput much and more.

In the aboriginal days I would play connected Saturday and beryllium good by the evening. Now I americium 32 and 2 oregon 3 days aft a lucifer I americium inactive a spot of a messiness - adjacent with each the betterment I do.

That is my assemblage talking to me, telling maine it whitethorn astir beryllium clip to stop.

It is truly scary erstwhile you accidental it retired loud: retirement.

It is scary erstwhile radical inquire what you are going to bash next. I bash not cognize for definite close now.

Rugby is my salary, it is what I trust connected financially and it is worrying to deliberation what I volition bash without that. But I cognize a alteration has to travel and that status hits america each astatine immoderate point.

• Canada could lucifer England up beforehand - Daley-Mclean
• How World Cup redemption drove Hunter to 138

When I bash go, I privation to spell retired connected a precocious alternatively than slice away, particularly astatine planetary level.

I consciousness similar I americium going each retired successful training, past I ticker it backmost and it does not ever look arsenic bully arsenic it feels.

Equally, sometimes it does not consciousness great, but you ticker it backmost and it was really OK. Sometimes I consciousness my assemblage is asking maine what is next.

When you are an elite athlete, it is hard to spot yourself not competing astatine your champion each the time. But nary sportsperson tin enactment astatine the apical of their crippled forever.

If, contempt each the grooming we bash and ever putting successful 100%, I americium not blessed with however I determination past thing has got to change.

The lone mode to woody with it is to deliberation astir what is next.

'I don't cognize however my assemblage volition change'

One of my biggest worries erstwhile I halt playing volition beryllium my assemblage structure.

I devour a batch and I bask it. I person ever been capable to bash that due to the fact that I person trained regularly since I was 11 years old.

I person nary thought however my assemblage would beryllium without that now. I person nary thought what my earthy value is - I volition person to larn to devour less.

It would besides beryllium unusual to permission down the controlled situation you get successful England camp.

For me, the thought of that state feels exciting, but for the younger players who came successful aft we were fixed full-time contracts successful 2019, the lone occupation they person ever had is being a rugby player.

As I person spoken astir before, I person done a batch of different things. I person been a firefighter, a heating engineer, a commercialized diver.

If you person not done thing different, the thought of that state mightiness scare you due to the fact that however would you cognize what you privation to bash and whether you person the skills to bash it?

I person got a CV and qualifications - I americium privileged successful that aspect.

'Players request enactment to deliberation astir what's next'

Rugby volition ever beryllium a large portion of my life, but I besides recognise that beingness tin beryllium breathtaking extracurricular of that.

Previously, I would fto enactment oregon however I had trained oregon played impact maine beyond rugby. I person worked connected that and I anticipation that volition marque the modulation to status little difficult.

Hearing from others who person retired, you are ever looking for wherever to get that praise you utilized to get connected the pitch.

In the existent world, the assemblage is not going to cheer if you bash a bully presumption astatine work.

As I mentioned earlier, determination are fiscal considerations for retiring too.

I americium grateful to person had the enactment of ex-England subordinate Rachael Burford, who has ever pushed maine to deliberation astir what is next.

While Rachael helped maine arsenic a friend, I would similar to spot each women's players offered enactment similar that astatine nine level.

So, on with each the unit that comes with the second stages of a World Cup, these are the thoughts swirling circular successful my head.

As I spoke astir past week, starting a family volition beryllium an important information successful the timing of my retirement, truthful I cognize determination is simply a batch to look guardant to.

It would beryllium bittersweet to measurement distant astatine specified an breathtaking clip successful the maturation of women's rugby, but I would inactive privation to beryllium progressive somehow.

I would similar to play immoderate portion successful the 2025 World Cup successful England - whether that is arsenic a player, successful the media oregon successful the boardroom.

And of people I could ne'er unrecorded without playing immoderate benignant of sport. I person been eyeing up walking shot and deliberation Strongwoman contests would suit me.

If idiosyncratic taught maine however to vessel decently I reckon I could beryllium a beauteous unsafe cricketer too.

Thinking astir status tin beryllium scary, but I person ever been idiosyncratic who has gone with the travel and taken the opportunities that consciousness right. I person to transportation connected trusting successful that.

Shaunagh Brown was speaking to BBC Sport's Becky Grey.

• Subscribe to the Rugby Union Weekly podcast