Stillborn baby's teddy helps parents discuss grief

The teddy carnivore of a stillborn babe is the prima of a publication written by a parent dealing with grief.

Ellie Harley-Jones, 31, began drafting successful the weeks aft she mislaid Theo successful 2021 connected the proposition of her mum, aft she was near struggling "to bash anything".

While Ellie, from Valley connected Anglesey, described the process arsenic cathartic, the publication became a mode for others to attack her astir what she had gone through.

She is present hoping that her illustrated tales of Theo Bear volition assistance adjacent much radical unfastened up astir their experiences of miscarriage and stillbirth.

"It's a taboo subject, they didn't cognize what to accidental to me," Ellie said.

"But the publication made it easier for them."

It is based connected the adventures of Theo Bear, a teddy bought for her lad by his aunt.

Latest figures from the Office for National Statistics showed that 4 successful each 1,000 births successful Wales successful 2023 were stillbirths, somewhat down from 2022.

Miscarriages are not officially recorded, but it is estimated they hap successful astir 15% of pregnancies.

"People are uncomfortable to speech astir it," added Ellie.

But she believes the publication had fixed them an accidental to unfastened up.

Using creativity to enactment done grief is thing which Philippa Davies tin relate.

In 2012, her girl Sam was stillborn astatine Wrexham Maelor Hospital astatine 32 weeks.

Philippa, from Graianrhyd, Denbighshire, went connected to recovered baby nonaccomplishment foundation Our Sam to enactment different bereaved parents.

She, similar Ellie, could not permission the location aft her girl died, but arsenic a writer, she turned to creating stories to transmission her grief.

Her archetypal publication A Cookie for Christmas, was astir the pony she bought for her Sam and the adventures she hoped they would person arsenic mum and daughter.

Similarly, she recovered that penning the book, and aboriginal a play astir babe loss, encouraged others to speech to her astir her daughter.

She said creativity helps radical face hard subjects they would different avoid.

"It's excessively achy to spell consecutive astatine it, you astir person to spell sideways, not deed it caput on," she added.

"You marque it much tangible and it gives a spot of headspace, a spot of distance.

"It makes it much acceptable."

For Philippa, who besides experienced 4 miscarriages, penning helps "fill the parental hole" that remains aft specified devastating losses.

"It's not conscionable astir the nonaccomplishment of the baby, it's the nonaccomplishment of the aboriginal you would person had," she added.

"I inactive conflict with that."

Two years aft Theo died, Ellie had her "rainbow baby", a word utilized for babies calved aft a loss.

Leo is present 21 months old, and has brought Ellie and her hubby Luke "so overmuch joy".

She hopes her book, and others she plans to write, volition assistance rise further consciousness astir babe loss, and lend funds to the Sunderland-based foundation 4 Louis.

It gave her a representation container pursuing Theo's decease truthful she could support meaningful items.

Philippa said giving commencement to Sam remains "the proudest time of my life" and the "memories and love" would enactment with her forever.

"We are inactive parents," said Ellie.

"Every genitor wants to brag astir their child, whether they are present oregon not."