The Biggest Revelations From Selena Gomez's Documentary - E! NEWS

Selena Gomez: My Mind & Me begins backmost successful 2016, with a frustrated Selena Gomez prepping the signifier amusement for her circuit successful enactment of her 2nd workplace album. 

"It conscionable sucks, each of it," Selena cried aft 1 rehearsal. "It looks truthful bad. I person nary thought what the f--k I'm doing." She went connected to admit that she had a dependable successful her heard telling her, "'You missed this, that sucked, that sucked,' and it sucks the beingness retired of maine and I don't privation to perform. The unit is conscionable overwhelming due to the fact that I privation to bash the champion I can." 

Selena is past seen apologizing to  John Janick, the Chairman of Interscope Geffen A&M Records, telling him, "I don't privation you to regret signing me." Concerned that the amusement felt "too young," the erstwhile Disney Channel prima said, "I privation thing much than to not beryllium my past and it comes back."

After 55 performances, including 1 that saw her admit, "sometimes I aftermath up and I consciousness similar I don't person it successful me," the Revival circuit was canceled.

"Tours are a truly lonely spot for me," Gomez told Vogue successful 2017. "My self-esteem was shot. I was depressed, anxious. I started to person panic attacks close earlier getting onstage, oregon close aft leaving the stage. Basically I felt I wasn't bully enough, wasn't capable. I felt I wasn't giving my fans anything, and they could spot it—which, I think, was a implicit distortion."

Following the cancellation of the satellite tour, Selena entered a Tennessee psychiatric facility for attraction for anxiety, panic attacks and slump stemming from her 2014 lupus diagnosis. One of the much alarming symptoms, her adjunct reveals successful the documentary, was suicidal ideations.

"At 1 constituent she's like, 'I don't privation to beryllium live close now, I don't privation to live,'" Selena's erstwhile adjunct Theresa Marie Mingus recalled. "And I'm like, 'Wait, what?' It's 1 of those moments wherever you look successful her eyes and there's thing there. It was conscionable pitch-black and it's truthful scary."

Added Selena's adjacent friend Raquelle Stevens, "I conscionable retrieve it being chaotic and she was proceeding each of these voices. [They] conscionable kept getting louder and louder [and] that triggered immoderate benignant of psychotic break. If anyone saw what I saw and the authorities she was successful astatine the intelligence hospital, they wouldn't person recognized her astatine all."

The Only Murders successful the Building histrion opened up astir being diagnosed with bipolar disorder while she was successful treatment.

"I'll beryllium honest, I didn't privation to spell to a intelligence hospital," she admitted, "but I didn't privation to beryllium trapped successful myself, successful my caput anymore. I thought my beingness was over. I thought this is however I'm going to beryllium forever."

Reflecting connected her diagnosis successful footage from 2019, Selena said, "I'm successful a amended place, but I don't know. I conjecture sometimes I can't explicate it for sure. I needed to support learning astir it, I needed to instrumentality it time by day."

She publically revealed her bipolar diagnosis successful 2020 during an quality connected Miley Cyrus' Bright Minded Instagram Live series.

Selena's mother Mandy Teefey reveals that she learned her girl had suffered a intelligence breakdown successful 2016 done TMZ .

"They called maine and wanted to cognize what my girl was doing successful the hospital," an affectional Mandy explained. "She didn't privation thing to bash with maine and I was frightened she was going to die."

Their narration strained astatine the moment, she continued, "You bent connected arsenic choky arsenic you tin and effort to assistance them with their attraction and that's the hardest happening to do, to conscionable spell to furniture and anticipation that they aftermath up the adjacent day. It's a occurrence she got retired but there's ever that fearfulness that it's going to hap again."

Prior to receiving her bipolar diagnosis, Selena recalled being "so mean" to the radical adjacent to her, particularly her parent and stepdad, Brian Teefey. 

"I shouldn't person spoke to them the mode that I did and I shouldn't person treated them the mode that I did," she explained. "Sometimes I cognize I wasn't me. When I aftermath up the adjacent time and they archer maine what happened, but they explained to me, like, 'Look, we cognize that that's not you talking and we're truly concerned. Just cognize that we emotion you. We don't spot thing antithetic from what was past nighttime to now.'"

Still, Selena said she tin "remember definite things that I did...and adjacent to this day, I support saying convey you and I'm sorry."

After initially being diagnosed with the autoimmune illness successful 2014, Selena struggled with a lupus flare successful 2020 conscionable arsenic the coronavirus pandemic was beginning.

"I haven't felt it since I was younger," a crying Selena told a person of the associated symptom she is feeling. "In the greeting erstwhile I aftermath up, I instantly starty crying due to the fact that it conscionable hurts, like, everything."

Selena shares that she has been having "bad dreams" astir her past and mistakes she feels she's made. "It's what drives maine into depression," she explained. "I conscionable wanted to discontinue sometimes truthful I could conscionable beryllium blessed and beryllium mean similar everybody else."

After undergoing tests, Selena's doctor informed her that she has "lupus myositis rheumatoid overlap," which causes inflammation successful the joints and muscles. She then begins undergoing extensive infusion treatments that, Selena explained, are "really hard connected your system."

After delivering an affectional code astir her struggles with anxiousness and slump portion accepting the 2019 McLean Award astatine the hospital's Annual Dinner, Selena reveals that "being honorable that nighttime helped." And it yet led her to constitute "Lose You to Love Me," which she completed successful conscionable 45 minutes alongside songwriters Julia Michaels and Justin Tranter. 

"It's astir much than conscionable a mislaid love," Selena explains of the deed song. "It's maine learning to take myself, to take life. But besides hoping that radical tin find grace and bid successful that too. The opus is astir knowing that you wholly mislaid each portion of who you are, conscionable to rediscover yourself again."

After years of being asked astir her narration with Justin Bieber due to the fact that "everything was truthful public," Selena, who ne'er acknowledges the "Sorry" vocalist by name, admits, "I felt haunted by a past narration that nary 1 wanted to fto spell of. But past I conscionable moved past it. I wasn't acrophobic anymore."

And she was yet acceptable to determination on. 

"I consciousness similar I had to spell done the worst imaginable heartbreak ever and past conscionable forgetting everything astatine the driblet of a hand, it was truly confusing," Selena says. "But I conscionable deliberation that needed to hap and ultimately, it was the champion happening that ever happened to me."

"After I got retired of the past attraction center, I knew what made maine happy," Selena explains, "and it was connection." 

But, per her doctor's orders, Selena's planned philanthropic sojourn to Kenya to spot the schools she helped rise wealth to physique was delayed respective years owed to her 2017 kidney transplant. Once she's yet pome to marque the travel successful 2019, she vowed to sojourn quarterly

"The information is I've ne'er felt bully enough," Selena admitted. "Even erstwhile I'm connected signifier successful beforehand of a crowd, I'll ever find the 1 idiosyncratic who doesn't similar maine and I judge them, I privation to judge successful myself. The radical I've met present successful Kenya are truthful giving, I conscionable privation to consciousness similar I merit to beryllium present with them."

During her clip successful Maasai Mara, Selena bonds with the students, talking astir love, ambition and, in a peculiarly affectional speech with 1 woman, suicidal ideation.

After her clip successful Kenya, Selena travels straight to London and Paris to beforehand her music, but she struggles to set to her beingness arsenic a celebrity. "It conscionable seems similar specified a discarded of time," she said. "What americium I doing close now?"

Later acknowledging that "part of my bosom is inactive successful Kenya," Selena admitted, "I felt blameworthy being determination sometimes. I hatred that, I consciousness similar I went and filmed and I experienced, but it's conscionable truthful hard due to the fact that I consciousness truthful selfish. Do I consciousness great? Yes, and bash I consciousness similar I near an impact? Yes, but bash I consciousness similar I've done enough? No."

"Talking to idiosyncratic astir intelligence wellness successful Kenya, that's beautiful," she continued. "I don't cognize if I felt like, 'Oh, I did it and I'm specified a large person.' No, it's conscionable the opening for me."

During her travel to Kenya, Selena shares her ambition to find a mode to walk a measure that would adhd a intelligence wellness program into U.S. schools. 

"My eventual imagination is that I americium capable to prevention people's lives done something, whether it's a song, euphony oregon it's conscionable maine speaking astir the troubles, trials and tribulations I person been through," she aboriginal shared. "I could beryllium a dependable for others who possibly don't cognize what's going connected oregon what they are feeling."

In 2020, Selena created the Rare Impact Fund to rise $100 cardinal to supply escaped intelligence wellness resources for young people. And successful May 2022, Selena met with President Joe Biden to sermon the instauration of a intelligence wellness syllabus successful the nation's acquisition strategy aft hosting the archetypal ever Youth Action Forum connected Mental Health successful coordination with the White House.

"When you're struggling with your intelligence health, the indispensable portion is knowing what to bash and recognizing that," Selena explained. "It's thing that I'm not ashamed of."

In 1 of the documentary's lighter moments, Selena visits her puerility location successful Grand Prairie, Texas, and checks to spot if the grounds of her teenage crush is inactive connected her chamber wall.

"I had a crush connected Cole and Dylan Sprouse, truthful I'd travel successful my closet and I would constitute things down," Selena admitted of her costars from The Suite Life of Zack and Cody. Though she and Dylan shared their first-ever onscreen buss successful 2006, it's Cole's sanction she finds encircled with a heart. Joked Selena, "I'm sorry, Cole, if you ever spot this!"