By Selin Girit
BBC News, Turkey
The decease toll from the devastating earthquakes that precocious struck Turkey and Syria has climbed beyond 50,000 - and near galore much radical homeless. It has taken a unspeakable toll connected intelligence wellness for those caught up successful the tragedy, some straight and indirectly. The BBC has spoken with survivors, hunt and rescue teams, and experts.
It was past midnight erstwhile we arrived successful Antakya, walking done acheronian successful a metropolis near wholly successful ruins.
Our car had breached down and the replacement operator refused to instrumentality america to the metropolis centre.
It was the 3rd time aft the earthquakes deed south-east Turkey. Our squad had travel from Maras, the epicentre of the quakes. Already thousands of radical were confirmed dormant and that fig has continued to emergence ever since.
As we precocious down the main roadworthy into Antakya, the changeless siren of ambulances echoed done the rubble. Aid trucks, bulldozers and volunteers were each stuck successful queues of postulation that stretched for miles. It was a authorities of utter chaos successful the freezing cold.
Burak Galip Akkurt and his squad from Turkey's voluntary rescue association, Akut, were moving connected a four-storey building. They suspected determination were 10 radical live nether the rubble, 5 of them children.
Their torches pierced the acheronian of the wreckage arsenic they shouted the question that has go truthful acquainted it cuts done Turkey similar a knife: "Can anyone perceive me?"
They waited successful implicit silence, hoping for the faintest dependable to telephone backmost oregon adjacent to perceive the dependable of a elemental movement, a pat of a finger, a click.
"When you perceive a dependable coming from nether the rubble, however does that marque you feel?" I asked Burak successful a quiescent moment.
He needed to beryllium detached from his feelings successful bid to transportation connected with the rescuing effort, helium explained, but it would deed him erstwhile the ngo was implicit and helium would question intelligence assistance to header with everything helium had witnessed.
"It is not precise casual to retrieve from the things you person seen. It is traumatic, and precise melodramatic arsenic well."
No-one survived from nether the rubble of the flat artifact they were moving connected that night.
The adjacent time I met Dilek Eger. She was rescued from a gathering successful the neighbouring municipality of Iskenderun, aft being trapped for 8 hours.
"The tremor was incredibly strong. I instantly got up from furniture and ran to my parents' room. I was screaming my lungs out. But my mother, father, brother, they were each silent. I thought I was going to suffer my mind," she told me.
Dilek's parents and member mislaid their lives nether the rubble. She was stuck, surrounded by breached glass, with lone the apical of her caput showing. A household person was capable to recognise and rescue her with his bare hands and a knife.
She couldn't outcry astatine each for the archetypal 2 days, but arsenic she laic connected the sofa successful her grandmother's surviving room, talking maine softly done her ordeal, she visibly started to spell done each the emotions.
As she kissed and caressed a photograph of her parent and herself hugging, she began sobbing.
"My parent gave her past enactment successful my arms," she said. "Even erstwhile dying, she saved me, arsenic she was connected apical of me. I couldn't bash thing for her.
"My member was stuck successful the different room, and my dada was suffering successful pain. This is erstwhile the full satellite collapses. You are witnessing the decease of everyone you love. I don't consciousness choler oregon revenge. I conscionable consciousness truthful empty."
Dilek is 1 of tens of thousands of radical to person survived the earthquake, but she present faces a beingness that whitethorn beryllium scarred forever.
This week I received a substance connection from different survivor. He wrote: "Those of america who are present live volition enactment nether the rubble until the time we die."
Psychologists accidental the survivors of specified a traumatic lawsuit volition beryllium going done phases: the archetypal shock, anxiousness and fearfulness volition soon beryllium replaced by a authorities of denial.
Cagay Duru from the Turkish Psychologists Association said it was not casual to header with a trauma connected this scale, but talking astir it, expressing feelings and thoughts astir what has been experienced should beryllium the archetypal measurement towards healing.
He warned that if psycho-social enactment was not successful spot for those successful request during this grief process, past galore radical could extremity up with superior disorders specified arsenic post-traumatic accent upset (PTSD), slump oregon substance abuse.
"We each person to inquire each other: How are you? Is determination thing I tin bash for you?
"We person to say: I americium present for you. We indispensable springiness the connection that we are successful solidarity with those successful request and we are trying to recognize their experience, we are determination to perceive to them, assistance them and stock each these emotions."
Normality would not mean returning to however beingness was earlier the earthquake, it would beryllium a caller normal, helium warned. That caller mean would request to beryllium built up and it would instrumentality time.
But the trouble of that task was underlined erstwhile a caller acceptable of earthquakes deed the already devastated municipality of Hatay.
These were not arsenic beardown arsenic the archetypal two, but inactive panic-stricken radical were connected the streets, crying successful despair, wondering whether they were facing a nightmare without end. Some were furious, asking what much could person been done to prevention lives.
Now successful Istanbul, I person near the catastrophe zone, but I americium inactive surrounded by trauma; glued to my TV surface and mobile telephone similar millions of others.
As Turkey's biggest metropolis lies connected a large responsibility line, radical present cannot assistance but ask: Will they beryllium going done the aforesaid calamity successful the future? What tin they bash to forestall it?
As grief sets in, wide trauma and however to respond to it has go different of Turkey's large challenges.