Vicky Pattison: 'Sharing my egg freezing journey nearly broke me'

When Vicky Pattison started the process of freezing her eggs, knowing she was not acceptable for children, she decided to stock her travel with the public.

"It was important for maine to beryllium transparent due to the fact that determination isn't capable genuine, honorable accusation retired there," she says.

But the TV star, 35, who lives successful Essex, was disquieted she had made a mistake opening up to her 5.4 cardinal followers connected Instagram.

"I had immoderate truly horrible messages," she says. "I underestimated however overmuch this would upset people. Fertility tin beryllium triggering and it doesn't ever extremity successful happiness. I tried to beryllium delicate but I wasn't prepared for immoderate radical to beryllium truthful cruel."

Vicky, who recovered fame connected the world amusement Geordie Shore successful her autochthonal Newcastle, had to instrumentality a interruption from societal media.

"People were saying 'why don't you conscionable person a babe present you've got a boyfriend?' It is truthful toxic and outdated. I cognize truthful galore radical who had children with the incorrect men due to the fact that they were frightened that they were moving retired of time.

"Why aren't we celebrating women who accidental 'this isn't the close clip and I privation to springiness my aboriginal children the champion commencement successful life'? It is truthful important we each cognize determination are galore antithetic routes to motherhood."

Breaking down successful tears, she recalls the connection that made her realise she had made the close determination to beryllium truthful open.

"This pistillate said 'none of my friends person gone done this and I was feeling frightened and unsocial and I hated the injections but each nighttime aft I had done it I came connected societal media to spot if you had done yours'.

"It made her consciousness little unsocial and I thought 'I americium successful a precise tiny mode providing radical with immoderate comfort'."

The BBC is not liable for the contented of outer sites.

The writer and podcaster won I'm a Celebrity... Get Me Out of Here! successful 2015 and appeared connected Loose Women soon after, declaring that she did not privation children.

"I've ne'er been a maternal person, I've ever been precise vocation focussed," she explains. "I kept waiting for this infinitesimal that I would person this burning tendency to person children, but it ne'er truly came.

"The older I got, the much frightened I became that it would footwear successful astatine an property erstwhile my assemblage wasn't capable to person children naturally."

Vicky started looking into the process of ovum freezing successful her aboriginal 30s, aft uncovering herself azygous again. Then she met her fiancé Ercan Ramadan and "became truly happy".

"I started to privation things that I had ne'er wanted before, similar a location alternatively than a level successful London and dogs and a slower gait of beingness and wanting children came connected my radar.

"But, adjacent though I'm successful a blessed relationship, it is inactive successful its infancy and Ercan is younger than me, he's not acceptable either. It was a communal decision. We are successful emotion but we don't privation that pressure."

An egg-freezing rhythm involves taking drugs to boost your accumulation of eggs, which are aboriginal collected portion you are nether wide anaesthetic oregon sedation, and frozen for aboriginal use.

Egg freezing has accrued tenfold successful the past decennary successful the UK, from conscionable nether 230 attraction cycles successful 2009, to astir 2,400 successful 2019.

In 2021, the astir communal property for ovum freezing was 35, with occurrence powerfully babelike connected the property of the pistillate astatine the clip of freezing her eggs, with higher occurrence rates successful those aged 35 and under.

Source: Human Fertilisation and Embryology Authority

Vicky had to marque different hard determination erstwhile it came to however galore eggs to person fertilised with Ercan's sperm.

"I person been wounded earlier and it would beryllium foolhardy to not person a back-up program truthful I decided to support immoderate to myself. I'm safeguarding my aboriginal happiness," she says.

"I convinced myself it would beryllium an awkward speech but Ercan was truthful supportive."

The mates started having tests astatine The London Women's Clinic successful Brentwood past October but had to intermission attraction aft they recovered a cyst connected 1 of Vicky's ovaries.

"I was crestfallen due to the fact that I had this large plan. I was putting excessively overmuch unit connected myself and my body. I'm truthful grateful for societal media due to the fact that I had this assemblage to get proposal from."

They had to hold until April for the ovum collection, but it was not a creaseless process for Vicky.

"At astir time 10 my follicles were not wherever they needed to beryllium truthful the solution is to up your hormones. I was struggling anyhow but I would beryllium and burst into tears randomly. It is specified a turbulent clip for your assemblage and mind.

"I tried my champion to amusement the bully and atrocious days. I was truthful stressed astir the injections but they weren't excessively atrocious wherever arsenic I underestimated however hard the hormones would be."

Three of Vicky's eggs were turned into embryos, which she was told person a 20% accidental of resulting successful a baby, and she decided to support 3 arsenic unfertilised eggs, which person a 10% chance.

"It has taken the unit disconnected loads. We are readying a wedding and we privation to bask joined life. This has fixed america the luxury of clip and options," she says.

The process is expensive, she adds, with the NHS lone backing ovum freezing for definite aesculapian reasons, for illustration successful beforehand of crab treatment.

"I consciousness truthful grateful to beryllium successful a presumption to bash it. I bash deliberation it should beryllium disposable to much women.

"I had spent my full beingness successful a unreserved to beryllium loved truthful I could bash each the things I thought a pistillate was meant to bash but present I'm doing things erstwhile they are close for maine truthful I consciousness truly empowered."

Vicky has created a video diary of the full process, which volition beryllium shown connected ITV1's Lorraine.

"My anticipation is that it volition assistance women struggling with their ain journeys and besides promote a small much knowing and compassion astir the subject, arsenic good arsenic helping women realise their ain options."

Watch Vicky Pattison - My Journey To Motherhood connected Lorraine from 9am connected Tuesday 20 June connected ITV1 and ITVX